Monday, December 08, 2008

The Works brings you the latest

Hokeamania. So, yesterday ESPN's Joe Schad and his regrettable last name reported that Auburn was going to interview Ball St.'s Brady Hoke, he of the undefeated regular season and fumble-driven faceplant against Buffalo in the MAC title game. Hoke responded pretty much immediately by saying "that report is false," which is, like, about as strong a denial of these things as you can get. So I suppose he's not a candidate for now, though of course he did stop shorto f saying something along the lines of "I'm going to be at Ball St. next season," because of course I'm sure he wants to go somewhere that is not Ball St. and roll around a pile of BCS conference money next season if he can help it.

As for whether Auburn ought to be talking to Hoke: no, no they shouldn't. Hoke had a great year this year and he and BSU offensive coordinator Jim Parrish are probably due a step up of some kind (New Mexico?), but I question whether they'd be able to sustain this kind of push without Nate Davis, the NFL-quality stud they've got under center. Hoke took for ... wait for it ... ever getting the Cardinals up to speed*, and until the BSU job had never held a position above defensive line coach. The offense that drives the team is all Parrish ... so, quite honestly, if Auburn really wants to siphon off some of Ball St.'s success, I'd much rather they hire someone else for head coach and then let them go after Parrish if they want. I'd much, much rather have Gill than Hoke, and for either one of them the question remains the same: why hire a guy famous for a MAC rebuilding job when we can have the guy who's already graduated from his MAC rebuilding job and proven himself at the next level as well?

On a personal level, there is one positive in Hoke's favor: his Lloyd Carr ties and brief semi-candidacy for the Wolverine job last year mean that Michigan fans sort of keep tabs on him, and I've got a friend who for the last several weeks has been riffing on some variation of "Hokeamania." This climaxed last Friday in a mid-fourth quarter impression of the Hokester trying to get off the mat with the help of the trademark ear-cupping and the imagined cheers of a thousand devoted Hokeamaniacs as he tried to overcome, uh, Buffalo. It was funny. I think it'll continue to be funny. But other than that? I got nothing.

Let me tell you something, brother: No.

Johnson. The Chick-Fil-A Bowl conference call was yesterday, and while Paul Johnson's well within his rights to focus a game-specific call like that on the game at hand, he would have also been within his rights to take the opportunity to squelch the Auburn speculation. He did nothing of the sort. Stock arrow: up, very slightly.

Nutt. Further evidence it's a Very Good Thing that whole "Nutt to Auburn!" panic was a Sextonesque ruse: according to the Red Solo Cup, Jamar Hornsby is now a Rebel. Who's Jamar Hornsby? Jamar Hornsby is the guy allegedly caught using his friend's dead girlfriend's credit card, which he allegedly helped himself to while cleaning out the friend's dead girlfriend's apartment. And now Hornsby is a Rebel. RSC offers a semi-plausible other-side of-the-story on Hornsby's behalf--which, for the record, they're not entirely buying, either--but even if true, it doesn't change the fact this kid should be triple-grade radioactive and never allowed within a hundred miles of an SEC football program. That Nutt's willing to sign him on anyway is just more proof he would have been a horrible choice to lead Auburn forward.

Gill. Via LOD, the groundswell is just about reaching critical mass:

Who else? Don't know. Goldberg reports that Jacobs is due to meet with "more than five" candidates on his trip to New York, but doesn't have a solid name for us beyond Gill.

I can't tell: is this landing on your feet or not?
Goldberg on the whereabouts of deposed offensive line coach Hugh Nall:
Tuberville's offensive line coach for 14 years -- one Hugh Nall -- is out of coaching. He's now the Chief Operating Officer for Southern AG Carriers of Albany, Ga.
According to Google, Southern AG "provides complete transportation services for local and longhaul truckload shipments of agricultural products as well as general commodities." Sigh: if this is emblematic of the level of unquenchable thirst for coaching that existed on Tubby's staff--where the coaches are so dedicated to the profession they'll abandon it at the first reasonable opportunity-- it just doesn't reflect well. (I'm sure Nall worked his rear end off, was there every day, crazy hours, blah blah blah. Still.)

Quality. Good stuff over at Track'Em, where Kenny Smith--yes, that Kenny Smith--is discussing the cost of Tubby's departure and Acid Reign is naming an All-Tuberville team. Savor appropriately.

FYI. If you weren't around for it, it was a much busier weekend at the JCCW than usual: Coachapalooza profiles of Turner Gill and Brian Kelly, a couple of Works posts here and here. Feel free to catch up.

*You really should click this link, and it's a wonderful artifact of the soul-crushing despair that afflicted the Michigan fanbase and the esteemed Brian Cook during Michigan's seemingly-endless coaching search. At one point, Brian opines that "Sigourney Weaver's penis" would make for a better head coach than Brady Hoke. Thisi s what we've got to look forward to, Auburn fans! Good times.


Sean said...

Jerry, please comment on this as soon as you can.

And by comment, I mean talk me off the ledge. The actions of the administration have gone from somewhat depressing to bat-shit crazy.

I'm praying Tate is right that we have our man and these things are just smokescreens.

Jerry Hinnen said...