Monday, December 08, 2008

Nah

Surely, surely, even FAIL Jacobs and the Powers That Be* aren't ready to offer the position to candidates as blatantly unqualified as Rodney Garner and Pat Nix. This is Auburn shrewdly, courteously throwing two Auburn guys a bone and getting a little bit of a smokescreen out of it. Nothing more, surely. Carry on.

UPDATE: Orspencerson Shwallindle's shoulder-devil alter-ego (he's got a lot of alter egos, doesn't he?) and Paul Westerdawg are firmly in Patrick Nix's corner, which should tell you something about why that corner is so free and clear of Auburn fans.

*Dude, new band name.

13 comments:

Chris_In_Inverness said...

Dude, I'm sure talks of R. Garner returning to AU as an assistant and recruiting coordinator was talked about as well.

Nix, not so sure but having Rodney Garner's name come up excites me for recruiting purposes.

Anonymous said...

Right. And Mike Leach didn't even get a phone call.

This process is so painful, I want to gouge my eyes out. Jay Jabocs is an idiot until proven otherwise. And no, hiring Turner Gill or Brian Kelly will not prove that unless they turn out to be the next Urban Meyer. And if we are looking for the next CUM, Utah just went 12-0 again. May as well give that dude a ring if we aren't too busy tracking down Jeff Burger.

Of ALL the candidates mentioned, please tell me one that is LESS of a dice roll than Mike Leach would be?

-Alex

Alex said...

Let's see if this works. Didn't realize I could comment w/ no account.

bovinekid said...

I concur, Jerry. Jacobs is stupid, but he's not that stupid. He's just being polite.

PowerOfDixieland said...

That is a pretty killer band name. And if we hire Nix or Garner as our HEAD coach, I'll just go into hibernation for the next four years or so.

jrsuicide said...

NIX!?!?!?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x 1000.

i thought we wanted to improve on offense?

Acid Reign said...

.....You have to wonder if "The Powers that Be" are planning to try and force Garner on whomever the new coach turns out to be. "You're hired, and Rodney Garner IS your defensive coordinator. Period." It wouldn't surprise me. And we KNOW Garner wants to move up.

.....Garner's recruiting prowess is proven, I think. He joined Dye's staff on the downhill slide, and got guys like Frank Sanders, James Bostic, Stephen Davis, Dameyune Craig, Takeo Spikes, Willie Anderson, Wayne Gandy, Anthony Redmond, Victor Riley, Karsten Bailey, Robert Baker, and the list goes on.

.....When Bowden tried to move Garner off the field, he jumped to Tennessee. Within three years, UT had ramped up their talent level, won two SEC titles, beat Florida and got a BCS crystal trophy. Then,
Garner jumped to Georgia, and UT slid back down into mediocrity.

.....Garner's track record at Georgia speaks for itself, too. He's been a D-line coach for the entirety of the Richt's tenure, and I think he's probably ready to try his hand at running a defense.

.....I wouldn't think Garner's ready for a shot as a head coach at a BCS school, but you never can tell.

charlie said...

Come on, guys. What could go wrong with hiring a former quarterback coaching in Florida?

Acid Reign said...

.....Former quarterback coaching in Florida... Mike Shula?

jrsuicide said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jrsuicide said...

i'd agree with you that Powers That Be would be a good band name if there weren't about 50 bands with that name on myspace alone.

it's a good rule of thumb that if you think something is a good band name, there are already a dozen or so terrible metal bands in the midwest currently using said name. or at least that's what 5 years of being in a touring band taught me.

Jerry Hinnen said...

jrs, I was aiming for "FAIL Jacobs and the Powers That Be." If there are already a bunch of bands out there with THAT particular name, well, color me impressed.

Acid Reign said...

.....Heh! I can see Fail Jacobs honking on the sax, like Bill Clinton!