Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Well, so much for that whole "sunshine" thing

Just minutes after I got a heads-up about it, Goldberg confirms: James Willis is on his way to Saban's staff to coach linebackers.

James, I gotta be honest with ya buddy ... you're dead to me. Raise or no raise, temporary unemployment or no temporary unemployment, years of loyal productive service or no years of productive service, you don't do this. You don't rejoin Auburn's staff, play the good soldier, and then bolt for Alabama two weeks before Signing Day when our school and our program--your school! Your program!--need you the absolute most. If you were that unhappy about not being immediately retained after the coaching hire, have the grace and integrity to say "No thanks, I'd rather move on" instead of putting a charade for a few weeks. There will be no sympathy, no "Godspeed" or well-wishing from this corner. You don't deserve any.

There are characters in various sci-fi and fantasy films who give up in the face of seemingly overwhelming evil and work with the bad guys because they "don't have any choice" or "what's the use in resisting?" As soon as I work through enough of my disappointment and rage to remember one specifically, Mr. Willis will have a new nickname.

UPDATE: Willis has released a statement, available here:
I'm excited about the opportunity to come and work with Coach Saban at the University of Alabama," Willis said in the statement. "He is one of the best defensive coaches in the game and this is a chance to gain some great experience and learn from the best. You don't get many chances like that in the coaching business. When you combine that opportunity with the history and tradition at Alabama, it was a decision that was best for me personally as well as professionally. I know my wife and the kids are as excited as I am to join Coach Saban's staff."
Look, you want to spin about how wonderful Saban is and how it's a good move for you for a professional and/or development standpoint, fine. But don't feed us that line of horse pucky about their "history" and "tradition" being a huge attraction when you've spent the last 20 of years of your life, no doubt, feeling and saying that that history and tradition adds up (or should add up) to--pardon my French--precisely d*ck.


jd said...

I am speechless

easyedwin said...

What the fudge is he doing this for? Wasn't it coach Saban who said on national tv during the iron bowl "you know how much I hate these fudging people?"

We will survive "the bitter swill of civil war."

Anonymous said...

There's Lando Calrissian, except he eventually comes back to the good guys.

Jerry Hinnen said...

Anon., that was the first person I thought of, but I don't foresee a Lando-esque "redemption" in his future.

Anonymous said...

So if he's Lando, and Saban is Vader, then who is Boba Fett?

jrsuicide said...

F'ing Judas.

charlie said...

Willis, he's nothing to me now. He's not a coach, he's not a friend. I don't want to know him or what he does. I don't want to see him at the hotels, I don't want him near my house. When he sees our team, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there.

Alex P in Smyrna G said...

Plenty of players have played one side of the IB and then coached on the other. But like Jerry said, the timing and current precarious position of the AU program make this absolutely despicable.

Saban has been miscast as Darth Vader from the beginning. He was never a "good guy" so there is no good to be left in him still. Saban is the Emperor. Sure, we thought he was no more than a pest when he was at LSU, but all along he has been evil, meticulously plotting his assault on all things good and pure. He's a maniacal, manipulating, purely evil, control freak who chews up and spits out subordinates at will.

James Willis is analogous to the newly anointed Lord Vader, fooled into believing false hurts by his former colleagues and false promises by his new master. Order 66 has just been issued and he is on his way to the Jedi Temple to slaughter the children.

I. am. a. dork.

Jerry Hinnen said...

Anon.: Bobby Williams, just for the hell of it.

Jerry Hinnen said...

charlie: lolz.

Alex: yes, you probably are, but I'd say the JCCW's long and proud history of Trek, Shakespeare, Pratchett, Looney Tunes, etc. references means you're among friends here.

Anonymous said...

As f-bomb says, "Coaches come to Alabama because of Saban, and they leave because of Saban." Willis will find out soon enough that he made a mistake.

Anonymous said...

who is this James Willis you speak of?.... I know no one named James Willis...

"when the eagles are silent, the parrots will jabber."
Winston Churchill

Commisioner of Silly Walks said...

I think the most appropriate villain/traitor character that comes to mind is Cypher from the Matrix (played by Joe Pantaliano).

I can just picture a post-Auburn betrayal Willis scarfing down a steak gloating and dealing with the evil Agent Smith-Saban: "I don't want to remember nothing ... NOTHING! You understand? And I want to be RICH, someone important! You can make that happen, right Saban-Smith?"

Your ignorance is our bliss, Willis. Good riddance.

What you talkin' 'bout Willis? (fka Min. of Silly Walks) said...

I've changed by screen name and avitar for the occassion, although even that suggests the Willis betrayal is more significant than the trivial event it actually represents.

Look for Saban and the UAT fans to throw him under the bus next year during the first poor defensive peformance.

Night Owl Pundit said...

Get a grip, folks. No question that his time under Saban at the Capstone will lead to a better position several years down the line. You can't blame a guy for furthering his career.

He can't do that at the Barn.

Anonymous said...

Night Owl-

Sincerely- Gene Chizik, Will Muschamp and Paul Rhodes. You're right. Coaching at Auburn definitely does not lead to raises up the coaching ladder.

Thanks for the input.

Night Owl Pundit said...

Anon -

Your three examples are terrible.

Gene Chizik - eventually parlayed his time as DC at Auburn into a HC role at... drum roll... Iowa State, where a 5-19 record ensued. This record was deemed good enough to merit a return to the plains as HC I guess

Will Muschamp - coached at Auburn, after having coached under... drum roll... Nick Saban at LSU.

Paul Rhoades - has parlayed his time as DC at Auburn into a HC gig at... drum roll... Iowa State, formerly coached by... drum roll... Gene Chizik!

Let's try again.

Night Owl Pundit said...

Actually, nevermind. After reading the most recent post I'm looking for a sewer to crawl into.

If you think that Bama fans are having fun with this situation, you'd be absolutely correct

Anonymous said...

Well, there is that two-faced scumbag Bobby Petrino...who went from coaching at Auburn to...drum roll...the Falcons. So that's at least one good move up the ladder.

Anonymous said...

Night Owl-

Again, three coaches at AU who have gone on to be headcoaches or will be soon. They are excellent examples that negate your entire post.

I can't help your 5th grade reading comprehension; or, your love of bama. Both are crosses you'll just have to continue to bear throughout life.