The Works, two sides, same coin-style

Janus, your Official Roman God of the 2008 Auburn Tigers!

War is peace, ignorance is strength, etc. We've already talked on this blog at length about this not really being one football team this season, not really one set of Auburn Tigers, but two. The division has been, of course, along those same offense/defense lines we've all become oh-so-familiar with the last couple of seasons.

But apparently the double-vision* has spread to Tubby and to how he views Auburn's strugglin' spread. To wit, during Tubby's radio call-in show he says ...

"This is a great offense that we're in ... We have a chance to do a lot of excellent things to take us to the next level on offense if we will stick to it and believe in what we are doing."

Oh, so since this is such a "great offense," we're going to be sticking pretty closely to Franklin's vision, then, huh? Shotgun snaps, single-back, no true tight ends, that sort of stuff, right?

"I think what we're doing -- putting a little two-back, one-back, underneath the center, two tight ends -- helps the spread," Tuberville said. "It makes them work on something else and takes the working time away from the meat and potatoes of what we really want to do."

Yes, because if there's anything that's really going to help iron out the kinks in the spread, it's going to be spending practice time putting in completely different formations. To make our "meat and potatoes" better, we're going to learn how to cook Coquilles St. Jacques. (Yes, equating two-back sets with the fancy French food seems backwards. Work with me here.) In short: the spread is a great offense which is close to exploding--which is why we're happy to be actively moving away from it! This is doubleplusgood coachspeak at its finest, ladies and gents.

Your daily dose of "Burns for QB." From a worthwhile Jay Tate article on the o-line's recommitment to, well, basically playing well, comes this little nugget on Tony Franklin's prior successes:

One minor point: Troy's quarterback, Omar Haugabook, scored 11 of the team's 22 rushing touchdowns a year ago and earned more carries than anyone on the team.

Auburn’s starter, Chris Todd, is averaging less than zero yards per carry.

WHEEEEEEEE. Though it's not like Franklin has options here, not like there's anyone who's a virtual freaking clone of Omar Haugabrook standing around on the sideline just waiting to come in when Todd struggles. Nope, no one like that.

You suck, stats. The numbers for the Spread Eagle aren't pretty however you spin them: ask PowerOfDixieLand at TrackEm, ask Chris Low about how many plays Auburn has gone backwards on (more than all but two teams in the nation), ask Mike Szvetitz to sum it up for us:

Currently, the Tigers are 97 out of 119 Division I teams in scoring offense (19.8), 99th in passing efficiency (105.18), tied for 105th in the red zone (66.7 percent) and 112th in third-down conversions (29.3 percent).

Basically, what we're talking about at this point is a race to see if the Spread Eagle can even improve on last year's 97th-place finish. The positive angle is that there's the transition to worry about and that the weak-sister defenses of Arkansas, Ole Miss, West Virginia, and of course Tennessee-Martin are still ahead on the schedule. The negative angle is that with the bulk of the SEC schedule and possibly the two single best defenses on the 2008 slate in the form of Amen Corner still-to-come as well, it's no guarantee.

That's right, no guarantee we're going to have a better offense than the 97th-ranked offense we had last season. Did I say WHEEEEEEE already This post? Whatever. WHEEEEEEEEE!

If this isn't a sign to start stockpiling canned goods and sweeping out the bomb shelter, I don't know what is. Not only is Gameday going to Nashville, but Auburn's visit to Vanderbilt is being seen--by national consensus--as a bigger game than Miami-Florida St.

Etc. It's a little more, uh, anatomically correct than I feel comfy putting in full view here, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check out the Auburn poster that didn't make Gameday at Auburntron ... Bosley's at least got injury excuses for his rough outing last Saturday, though if he's that hurt I don't see why we can't bring in Mike Berry or Andrew McCain ... the Pigskin Pathos gets visited by a magical fairy who advocates both a more positive outlook for Auburn and an investment in "butt implants" ... my half of the Vandy Q&A with Save the Shield is available here.

*Totally obligatory: