The Works, GOOD NEWS!-style

Oh, good news. You've been so hard to come by these days. I just want to take every tiny shred of you and feed you, and nurture you, and let you grow and grow until the crying finally, finally stops. And not in that weird Steve Ensminger way, either, where we take bad news and pretend it's actually good news. (Auburn "ran the ball really well, especially inside the 20" against Arkansas, he said. Also, he added, the moon is made of cheese.)

Nope, today, we're focusing on those genuine, growable shreds. Hey, remember this?



GOOD NEWS! There's still a chance we could see something like it next week, since Dunn's formerly ankle- now high-ankle sprain is apparently going to let him play against the Mountaineers. As our offense quite obviously needs all the help it can get, this very well might be the very best news that's come out of practice all week. Jerraud Powers' alleged return isn't far behind, though.

GOOD NEWS! Kodi Burns is both frighteningly candid and, if you believe that candor, ready to play a lot looser against West Virginia! The candor goes like this, in response to a question about the Tony Franklin regime:

I wasn't the guy. When you're the second-string guy, and compete for a job, you play, in a sense, not to make a mistake. That's what I caught myself doing at times.

Does this deserve a "Tell us how you really feel, Kodi" response? No? OK, I can buy that, but it's close, you have to admit that.

GOOD NEWS! If this whole quarterback thing doesn't work out for him, Jason Candle Campbell might have a career as an insurance pitchman:



Maybe it's not "Tiny House," but then again, what is? (This clip courtesy Lifetime of Defeats, and if you want something similar, courtesy of Auburntron comes this clip of Reggie Slack reading cue cards for a Birmingham window dealership.)

GOOD NEWS! Auburn's played a bushelful of freshman again this season and they'll be totally ready for bigger roles next year! This has had no impact at all on Auburn's record-to-date!

GOOD NEWS! Auburn plays other sports besides football: the top-ranked equestrian team is headed into an out-and-out SHOWDOWN with second-ranked Georgia, the women's hoops team is feeling the preseason pollster love, and despite the fact that for 99 percent of Auburn students, residents, and fans "cross country" means that stretch of Highway 49 where there's like three Baptists churches within a hundred yards of each other, the Auburn XC teams are ranked in the top-20 too. So that's cool.


GOOD NEWS! No, wait ... sorry. I think we do have some bad news. For starters, according to Ensminger Greg Knox "really kinda handles the passing game" despite the fact that Ensminger is the quarterbacks coach and interim OC. I just ... I don't know how to react to that. I don't. So we'll move on to noting at Team Speed Kills that Auburn has, by Year2's estimation, played the league's fourth-easiest schedule to date and has managed to go 4-3 against it. Ewwww. Also at TSK, some idiot ranked Auburn's quarterback situation as currently the worst in the conference.

Oh, wait: that idiot was me. Sorry. I'm hopeful as heck that Burns will pick things up this year once he gets a chance to settle in, and I would say I'm downright confident that he's going to blossom into solid-to-dangerous at some point next season (assuming he stays, which it hurts to have to admit could, in the worst-case scenario, not be the case). But until we see him do it, and especially given the hurdles he's having to clear in his confused-until-shown-to-be-otherwise offensive line and drop-happy receivers, 12th he (and Trotter/Caudle) goes. Prove me wrong next Thursday, Kodi.

So we'll end on some GOOD NEWS!: the weekend is well-nigh upon us, and it's impossible for Auburn to lose a football game tomorrow. As Mrs. JCCW has the afternoon off, I'm checking out a little bit early in celebration as well. Back with fun and games on Sunday and seriously, read the QB thing at TSK. See you then and enjoy your nerves' Saturday off from fraying themselves onto tiny painful pieces.