The Works, tale of two similar halves-style

The official dairy product of your 2008 Auburn Tigers!

It's not really quite like that. When your team has held the lead at halftime in every game they've played and every loss your .500 team has suffered has come after said team has held a double-digit first-half lead, yes, Virginia, this is how your head coach sounds:

How can a team that has looked so good in most of its eight first halves look so bad in the final 30 minutes?

The head coach will have to get back to you on that one.

“We’ve got to find some answers there,” Tuberville said Friday in a teleconference. “They’ve got to be there somewhere.”

Of course, part of the reason the answer is such a mystery is that Auburn isn't actually performing all that differently from one half to the next, particularly defensively. Rhoads isn't wrong when he says Auburn's tackling got worse after the break Thursday night, but it's not like Auburn's defense had exactly been the '85 Bears until then: aside from the drive ended prematurely by McFadden's pick, the 'Eers other possessions resulted in a 48-yard drive ended by interception, a 67-yard drive ending in a field goal, and a 78-yard drive ending in a touchdown. Three of Arkansas's first four drives covered 71, 67, and 80 yards. Against Vandy the defense allowed seven first-half points and seven second-half points. And I don't think I have to tell you the D was better in the second half against Tennessee than in the first. You'd have to go all the way back to LSU to find a game where Auburn's defense was demonstrably worse down-to-down, drive-to-drive, than they were in the first half.

As for the offense, well, yes, they've been better in the first half. No question. But it's not that dramatic a difference when you consider how much help they've gotten from lightning-bolt plays by the special teams and opportunistic defense. Their two TD drives in Morgantown covered 27 and 31 yards after the McFadden pick and Fannin's kickoff return. Their two first-half scoring drives against Arkansas covered (you'll love this) -3 and 0 yards. Vs. Vandy? 49 and 27. Certainly, those drives (well, the WVU and Vandy ones) and the Long March against the 'Eers are better than anything the offense accomplished after halftime and against Tennessee, too, the best drive of the game came early. Nonetheless, most of Auburn's first-half points are a result of opportunism rather than actual offensive competence, and in half of Auburn's losses--Arkansas and LSU--the offense was better in the second half than the first.

The point is this: the question really shouldn't be "What's wrong with Auburn in the second half?" It's "What's wrong with Auburn?", period. Er, question mark.

Which means that's not it, either. If we're taking Evan Woodberry's word for it, Dye told Finebaum this week that Auburn might have quit against WVU. As the above would suggest: don't see it, sir. Don't see it at all. And frankly, I'm a bit bothered if one of Auburn's former coaches did indeed take such a damaging swipe at Auburn's current one. As we say here on the Interwebs, don't feed the trolls, Pat.

Mmmmm, the salty cured flavor of failure to meet expectations. This is about a succinct a summary as you'll find for the cavernous yawning gap between Auburn's perceived 2008 abilities and their results:

Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville hasn't beaten the line since opening night. That's seven straight losses after coming into the season having beaten the line in nine of his previous 12 games.

Yum.

Backtrack. Bosley--as you know if you paid close attention in the recent first quarter breakdown--is back at center now that he doesn't have to snap into the shotgun as often. And after steadily shrinking for the first nine weeks of the year the playbook apparently ate from the other side of the mushroom* and is expanding again. These are probably positive developments. They are also developments that remind us exactly how much Auburn's offense has been chasing its own tail this season.

And speaking of depressingly-necessary reappearances ...

Correcting mistakes, Byrum said, is more difficult than it seems. Simply adjusting the location of his plant foot solves one problem, but can create an over-awareness that undermines other elements of his kicking motion.

That's why he's seeking guidance from someone who has felt the anxiety.

J**n V****n, who served as the Tigers' top field-goal kicker from 2003 through 2006, is back on campus to complete coursework for a degree.

Byrum said he has held private work sessions with V****n recently.

Yay. (As an aside, the same wonderfully frank Jay G. Tate that wrote that piece also wrote the following in an ostensible straight news story about the second half thing: "Ensminger is a receivers coach by trade and may not be capable of making intuitive adjustments as games progress." Tell us how you really feel, Jay.)

BlAUggery. The usual must-reads: Acid casts a critical eye on the lacking "command structure" of the team, J.M. wraps up his Raymond Cotton report, and the Auburner argues against the firing of Tuberville with the help of the following graph of awesomeness:



Sweet.

Dude, you can't. Just can't. As in, have a Student Union building at Auburn that's named something other than the Foy Student Union. Here's to hoping whoever ponies up the cash for the naming rights is an Auburn person who exercises their right to name it "Foy."

The answer's "B." There's probably no way for this not to come across as sour grapes, but when Dr. Saturday asks if West Virginia's return to explosive form is a mirage--that it "could be, of course, that Auburn is just that bad"--I'm forced to answer "yes." The 'Eers looked quite good on Thursday, no doubt about it. But they always look good against SEC teams; just last year they completely shredded the same Miss. St. defense that was busy choking the life out of Auburn, Kentucky, Alabama, etc. in SEC play. They're just two weeks removed from beating Syracuse 17-6. And they've taken home losses

Was there a waitlist? Tubby was inducted into the Southern Arkansas University Sports Hall of Fame a few days ago, so that's cool, I guess. Tubby was a free safety for the Muleriders and apparently learned the foundations of his coaching philosophies there. It does raise two questions: 1. "Muleriders"? Seriously, how awesome are the nicknames for Arkansas's GSC schools? 2. Why did it take SAU this long to stick Tubby in its Sports Hall of Fame? Are there that many athletically-successful SAU graduates? Was Tubby really in line behind 22 years' worth of more-qualified Southern Arkansas University Sports Hall of Fame candidates? Color me bemused.

Etc. When not being inducted into Halls of Fame, Tubby (or someone in his office) wants elementary school students to "strive for excellence" so badly he makes the point twice ... Coleman says he couldn't care less about his SEC-leading sack and TFL numbers, and coming a year after Groves went gallivanting around in pursuit of that sack record it's refreshing to hear ... and forgive me for being a little envious that an Auburn graduate is busy being the best offensive line coach in the country for one of Auburn's biggest rivals ... this week's SEC Power Poll is up.