1. Alabama. No one but no one stands to profit more from the twin spectacular crash-N'-burns going on at Tennessee and Auburn than the Tide. What once looked like a daunting closing schedule is now two oughta-be victories over the Rebels and Tigers, two breezes past the Vols and Mississippi St., and one "showdown" with an LSU team that doesn't seem nearly capable enough of handling the Tide's offensive line. The odds now look far better than 50-50 the Tide go into the SEC championship game undefeated, and if about now you're wondering if this is all some elaborate jinx as 'Bama heads into a tricky game against the Rebels ... all I can say is Perhaps. Sadly, though, perhaps it isn't.
2. Florida. Great, now they've found a way to get their Olympic sprinter tailbacks involved. That's just what the rest of the league needed.
3. Georgia. After pistol-whipping both Arizona St. and Tennessee all over the stat sheet only to see a few bad breaks result in close-ish looking finals, Dawgs aren't exactly Cocktail Party underdawgs just yet.
4. South Carolina. If a Vandy punt doesn't land on the back of a 'Cock leg and if Davis doesn't fumble inside the Georgia 5, Spurrier's quite possibly undefeated and circling the date with Florida for an SEC East title. If the 'Cocks survive LSU's visit and catch the right breaks--a Gator win in the WLOCP most notably--he might do the latter anyway.
5. LSU. You know those moments in movies when someone wakes up from a trance, shakes their head, and sees things clearly? Watching the Gators O roll them was like that. I mean, they allowed 21 points to Auburn! 24 to Mississippi St.! How could we not have seen it coming?
6. Ole Miss. No truth to the rumor Nutt spent his bye week installing a play in which Jerrell Powe lines up as the field goal holder with Colonel Reb as the kicker, only to disguise a fumblerooskie in which Jevan Snead picks up the ball and runs the option with a mysterious man in drag who refers to himself only as "Dr. Wood." It's just a rumor.
7. Vanderbilt. Ride's over, kiddos. You'll have to get off now. I know you had fun. Mommy and Daddy did too. But it's time to get off. We need to go look at the elephants.
8. Kentucky. Eh. Only in the Carolina game by the grace of Smelley. If this is the SEC's eighth-best team, it really might be that down year for the conference we've heard so much about.
9. Arkansas. The Hog offense has just a little too much talent and is just a little too well-coached to keep them amongst the cellar-dwellers.
10. Auburn. For years, certain Auburn fans (like me) have mumbled under our breath that the Iron Bowl had lost its luster because the Tide couldn't get their act together enough for it to mean something. Stupid forking irony.
11. Mississippi St. Don't look now, but Tyson Lee looks like he might b a functional quarterback. Of course, we said the same thing about Wesley Carroll last year, too.
12. Tennessee. When a 26-14 loss to a bitter archrival that wasn't ever really that close is greeted with a widespread reaction of "Well, OK, I honestly thought that would be a lot worse," it really is well and truly over.
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