West Virginia (PBP) recap, first quarter

OK, we're trying something a little different with the recap this week. With a nod to MGoBlog's UFR and similar associated analytical breakdowns, I'm going to go play-by-play to try and answer various questions from last Thursday's debacle: how well did Burns really play? Where and why did the defense break down so comprehensively? Was there a substantial difference in the offense's success via the I or ace sets vs. the dreaded, flightless Spread Eagle?

Now, I'm neither Type A enough nor well-versed enough in ginuwine nuts-and-bolts football analysis to offer a note-for-note reproduction of Brian's UFR, but I will assign and keep track of pluses and minuses when they're obvious and deserved, at least as best I can (the o-line will receive the cop-out catch-all designation "Line"; sorry, not willing yet to go frame-by-frame to figure out who's most responsible for opening a crease up a logjammed middle, though I'll try to single out good blocks when I find them). We'll have some of the usual recap hijinks as well. So let's see what happens, shall we?

Pregame

--ESPN opens up their coverage with gives shots of both teams de-bussing, the clearcut highlight of which is Sen'Derrick Marks doing his I LOVE PLAYING football dance through the assembled fans, dreads a-flyin' and the biggest smile you could imagine on his face. The little thermometer on my Mancrush-o-Meter? Nearing the top.
--Good news! Craig James and Jesse Palmer have been moved out of their usual Thursday night roles in the broadcast booth to play Talking Head in the studio. But ... oh no. No, no no no no no. Here's your other shoe dropping: Rece, Mark, and Lou are calling the game. Any hope we'd get cogent analysis or, in Holtz's case, sounds recognizable as human speech patterns just went out the window.
--Erin Andrews interviews Bill Stewart pregame, and you would think after she reported in no uncertain terms the chaos enveloping the West Virginia sideline as they went down in flames at Colorado, he might be less than thrilled to see her. You would be so, so wrong, as good ol' genial Coach Stew is clearly just as smitten with the concept of being interviewed on television by the pretty lady as he was when the season started. He caps his last answer for her, I kid you not, by winking at her. He does it. I swear. West Virginia could win the next three national championships, and there's still no way I'd want this kind, good-hearted folksy man coaching my multi-million dollar football team. He should be off somewhere managing Old Joe's Place instead.
--I'm like 65 percent sure he is actually speaking English, but here's what I hear as Holtz attempts to help May preview the game: "LISP LISP lisp lisp lisp, LISP, but lisp lisp LISP LISP!"

First quarter

1. Byrum (-) reassures us all about his fragile psyche by booting the opening kickoff out of bounds. When you're facing a potentially explosive offense like West Virginia's, letting them start the game on the 40 free of charge somehow seems like less than a great idea.

2. White throws a quick out that McFadden (+) dives in and breaks up splendidly.

3. 2nd-10, Auburn blitzes five. and White swings it to a wide, wide open Devine.
Bynes gets picked as he heads into the flat, and WVU picks up the easiest 13 yards they'll ever pick up. Why does Auburn's spread never, ever do this?

4. Devine sweeps right, where McNeil (+) has been quick to react and slows him until he and Bynes can converge on the tackle. Loss of 2.

5. White runs the zone read option to perfection, faking the handoff to Devine up the middle and cutting inside for 22. Auburn was slanting to the other side of the field with Bynes filling on the backside. He took Devine, Johnson covered the pitch man, and the late-arriving and futilely chasing Stevens (-) apparently had White.

6. McFadden is playing way the hell off of wideout/designated jitterbug Jock Sanders, whom White hits with a long handoff. McFadden tackles cleanly, but he's so late in arriving it's still good for 8. Wouldn't we rather force White to beat us deep than give him a free 2nd-and-2 for completing a pass at the line of scrimmage?

7. Johnson tries to pick up a crossing Saunders in zone, and this works as well as you might expect. Pickup of seven, 1st-10 on the Auburn 12. After seven plays, the read on Auburn's defensive effort is somewhere between "helpless" and "hopeless."

8. HOLY CRAP NEVERMIND! Bynes (++) reads the tricky middle screen, steps in front of the intended taregt, and when a blitzing Stevens forces White to throw without looking Bynes makes the interception. May reams White's decision, but thanks to Rhoads's blitz there was no way he could see if his guy was covered and he's not supposed to be. Holtz gives the Auburn D the credit, calling it--this is verbatim--an "outthtanding" read by Bynes. That's one bullet mercifully dodged.

9. The legends were true! Auburn opens in an ace-set with Lester as the TB and Trott lined up on the strongside just off of new starting tight Vance Smith, a faceless true freshman. Smith (-) begins the game by letting his man disengage and tackle Lester for no gain.

10. I-formation this time, Lester behind the ever-so-beefy Tristan Davis at fullback. (Note to any neutral fans reading: Davis is not, in fact, beefy.) Davis (+) gets a nice seal as Lester (-) tries the left side for 2, then fumbles forward as he hits the turf. According to the announcers (though not the PBP) Bosley makes the recovery. Replay shows Lester's knee might have been down, but this is a minus anyway as he's got to hold onto the ball. A second bullet dodged.

11. One-receiver I, 3rd-1. Lester finds a crease over the right side (Line +) as Berry stones the MLB and paves the way for seven yards. First down! Go new offense, go!

12. This time it's a TE-less, three-WR I and Auburn runs a sweep right. Berry (-) this time misreads the LB and allows him to come through untouched whilst blocking no one, allowing Lester to be dropped for a loss of one. Before this play, ESPN gives us the Auburn offense's three "Impact Players": Ben Tate, Robert Dunn, and Tommy Trott. Ladies and gents, if you've been looking for that nutshell in which to fit Auburn's offensive season, this is it.

13. Trips right on Auburn's first spread look of the game. Hawthorne's open on a six-yard out but Burns (-) badly misses on his first throw of the game, short-hopping it. Hawthorne catches on the bounce and, astoundingly, none of the officials notice it's a trap. Unbelievably bad call. Sure, it helps us now, but it's still enough to call the wisdom of bringing SEC officials with us into question.

14. Spread with 3 WR and Trott as a TE. WVU brings a seven-man blitz against Burns (+), who reads quickly and finds a releasing Trott over the middle. Hawthorne (+) makes a nice downfield block for another five yards and Auburn's 1st-and-10 business at the WVU 49.

15. Heavy I-set: two TE, one WR. Fannin carries over the right side for two as no one seems assigned to pick up the trailing WLB coming around the back side of the play.

16. Fannin as the ace-back, Smith as an H-back on 2nd-8. It's your classic "Auburn" waggle action, but the 'Eer WLB isn't buying the play-fake for a nanosecond and forces Burns to throw it away. Burns is exceedingly fortunate not take a grounding call here, since the receiver I think the official is accepting as "intended" is barely in the same zip code as the pass. (Holtz thinks it ought to be flag, arguing that "LISP lisp lisp lisp.")

17. Spread on 3rd-8 and this time WVU rushes three. Burns sees green and bolts, and Fannin and Hawthorne get in the way just enough to give Burns (+) 13 yards and a first down.

18. No-TE I again, and this time Ziemba, Green, and especially a thumping block by Davis (+) plow open a hole on the left side for Fannin to gain four (Line +). Not that it's a surprise, but these guys are indeed blocking better out of the three-point stance.

19. Heavy I, and Fannin runs behind a pulling Green and Pugh for four more (Line +). Tempted to give Fannin a minus here, though, since if he'd stuck closer to Green that lane likely would have given him a first down. Ibstead he gets tripped up in the busier middle-of-the-field crease.

20. 3rd-2, Heavy I. Line (-) fails to get a push, Fannin skips right after finding nothing on the left, and looks for all the world to have been stopped short. Startlingly generous spot gives Auburn yet another first down. Go new offense go go GO!

21. Back to the spread, and it's the zone read. I think with Burns at QB this play has a lot of potential, but the WVU backside DE (the player who gets read) has obviously seen this play a few times in practice and stays at home. Burns hands to Lester and he gains 2.

22. 2-WR ace. Lester takes a long handoff right (the action is similar to toss sweep) behind the pulling Berry and Green. Both make crushing blocks (Line +), Trott (+) holds up nicely at the point of attack, and Lester (+) makes a good cut against the flow of traffic to pick up 8. Solid execution all the way around. 1st-10 at the WVU 15.

23. Lester tries the weak side out of the two-TE ace and gets nothing. (Line -) Maybe this is why ESPN is telling us that Auburn is 118th in the country in red zone efficiency?!?!? I mean, I knew it was bad, but holy hell. (Also: why did I not know this already? I am a bad Auburn Blogger.)

24. Fannin's in, but otherwise it's the exact same formation and play as the Lester gain two plays ago, and with the exact same aweome result: Trott, Pugh, and Berry completely pwn the 'Eer defensive front and Fannin cuts forward for 11 and 1st-and-goal at the 3.

25. Heavy I, give to Fannin over the weakside. Davis makes his necessary block but Smith (-) gets totally overrun. Gain of 1. Why are we trying to run behind a true freshman on first-and-goal from the 3?

26. No-WR I with Trott as an H-back, a yard behind the right side of the line. Lester has a tiny seam, leaps, and can't clear the wash. 3rd-and-goal at the 1. Come on, Auburn.

27. AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH. Seriously: aargh. Same formation as the play before, and a nifty sky-cam lets us see all 11 Auburn players: Burns, Davis, and Fannin in the I, Trott in the same H-back spot, and a seven-man front of Berry-Ziemba-Green-Bosley-Bart Eddins-Pugh-Smith. My best guess is that the play is designed to go inside, just behind Bosley's butt at center, with Trott crashing across the hole from the left and Eddins coming across to seal behind Bosley. Two things go wrong: 1. Burns (-) believes the play is going outside, and maybe Davis does, too; the latter blocks outside and the former tried to make the handoff while standing directly in the path Fannin wants to take 2. Bosley fails to get any kind of push (Line -) and the obstacle he and his defender create prevent Trott from getting across to make his block. He stands there uselessly, the hole is filled, Fannin loses a yard, and on comes Byrum. (It's in fast-motion and the song sucks, but you can get a glimpse of this play in this video.)

28. The kick is jarringly low, but Byrum gets it through. 3-0 Auburn.

One the one hand: Auburn's Go New Offense Go! just marched 81 plays in 20 plays--20 freaking plays, are you freaking kidding me--put three precious points on the board, gave the defense the entire first quarter almost to sit on their rumps, and gave us some hope that at least 2007's occasional quasi-competence could be achieved. On the other: 1st-and-goal from the 3 and no touchdown. Sigh. Not to mention Auburn caught a multitude of breaks from the officials to make it that far in the first place.

29. Byrum's kickoff lands at the 12 (-). Better than out-of-bounds, I guess, but it's not good enough.

Commercial break: A Bo Jackson mask on a mooing, subtitled cow standing alongside a pile of random athletic equipment (including a wooden tennis racket) and telling us chicken was to Bo as spinach was to Popeye = Commercial of the Year. I don't think I'm alone in saying that.

30. WVU tries a bubble screen, but Doolittle (+) follows the lineman who brushes by him rather than rushing White. He arrives just in time to snag the receiver by his jersey and haul him down for a loss of a yard. "WR screen broken up by DT" should tell you something of how good a play that was.

31. But McFadden (++) has one to top it, aggressively stepping in front of a WVU receiver on a deep crossing route over the middle, making the pick, and returning it to the WVU 27. YES! Two-score lead here we come! May actually plays Actual Useful Analyst for a moment, noting that White was watching his man the whole way, and I think Holtz even makes a good point by asking why WVU's throwing downfield with White instead of doing their spread-n'-shred thing. At least, I think that's what he said. He may have been discussing Hitler again. It's hard to tell.

32. Auburn comes back in the spread and runs Burns on a QB sweep left. Smith (+) and Billings (+) make secure blocks and allow Burns (+) to slice forward for five.

33. Spread, QB "draw" over the left side goes for a solid six and Ziemba and Green move the line of scrimmage back several yards. (Line +, Burns +.) See, we can run out of the spread. Sort of.

End first quarter

Verdicts: I'll tally up the pluses and minuses at the end of the next installment, but I think Vance "Not a Blocking Tight End To This Point, At Least" Smith appears to have real potential at picking up the "NABTE" mantle Trott abandoned when he moved to WR. And, you know, started blocking. Also safe to say already that with no penalties and some cavernous holes opened up, the run-blocking with this line, at least, is going to be better out of the ace or I.

Feedback: Tell me what you think of this, readers. Is this play-by-play stuff worthwhile--it's time and text-consuming, you'll note--or should I go back to the JCCW's traditional joke-and-random observation recappin' style? Or some sort of mix of the two?