SEC Power poll ballot

With extra snark this week.

1. LSU. Being one of the, oh, 12 people who think Miles's throw to the end zone against Auburn was a good idea, up until last Saturday I'd have said Miles was doing a terrific job this season. Of course, then last Saturday LSU played like the whole team had spent the week on the riverboat casino with Perriloux and Miles was outcoached by King Crimson by a factor of about 10 gazillion. Now? He's not quite as lucky as he's being made out to be in some quarters, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was keeping a rabbit's foot or two under that giant hat.

2. Georgia. If you think this is merely a transparent ploy to keep those few football gods who read second-rate blogs (and reward humility, like all just gods) on Auburn's side ahead of this week's meeting in Athens, I don't know what you're talking about. And besides, between the beatdown of the Gators and the road win at Alabama, the Dawgs' top two SEC wins stand up to anyone else's.

3. Auburn. Choke-hold on the Hogs' once-again OMG SO RIDICULOUS ground game looking better by the week. Loss to USF looking worse by the week. Somewhere in-between is the Florida win and the Miss. St. loss. Add it all up with a dash of "Hey, they did to LSU on the road what 'Bama did at home and with Flynn busy channeling the spirit of 1986 Super Bowl Phil Simms as opposed to 2000 Super Bowl Kerry Collins" and you get third, I guess.

4. Alabama. Javier Arenas may be the most underrated player in the SEC. He scares the living daylights out of me. In fact, I didn't even realize I had living daylights until that punt return against LSU, after which I seized up and coughed a couple of times, and there they were. So thanks for that, Javier. May my Tigers kick the ball so far away from you you'll have to dial 1 and the area code to speak to it. (P.S. Bama fans wanting to gripe about the officiating: Your team got outgained 2 to 1 and just two games ago the replay booth saved their fortunate asses. There's no leg to stand on here.)

5. Florida. Three losses are to the top three teams on this list and murderized a poor Vandy team that had started to look frisky again. SEC East standings sort of skewed by the fact Gators had to travel to Baton Rouge whilst Vols went to Starkville and the Dawgs to T-Town. Plus Tebow and Harvin are still basically demigods.

6. Arkansas. As if a team commandeered by Houston Nutt, the post-nuclear-holocaust cockroach of SEC coaches, was ever going to go gently into that good night. Having not one but two USDA-certified prime freaks in the backfield doesn't hurt, either. The guess here--as implied by their ranking a spot ahead of the Vols--is that they win in Knoxville this week.

7. Tennessee. Sorry, but one very good performance against Georgia--even if it gets you into the driver's seat in your division--does not a season make. Of the four other teams with a pulse the Vols have played, three blew them out of the water and the fourth totally pwned them on the stat sheet before collapsing into a blubbering heap the following week. Wonder if this isn't the worst-case scenario for Fat Phil: articificially inflated SEC title hopes that crash-and-burn in "sudden" fashion aren't the best way to win back a tenuous fan "base." Of course, I could be way, way off. We'll see against the Hogs.

8. Kentucky. Now the undisputed holder of the game's two longest losing streaks to a single opponent, making Wildcat fans probably the only set of supporters in the country outside of South Bend who weren't overjoyed when Navy took down the Irish. And if it doesn't happen this year against the Vols, when will it?

9. Mississippi St. Consider me genuinely worried about the Bulldogs finding that sixth win down the stretch and getting shut out of the postseason thanks to the rampant glut of BCS bowl-eligible teams and the expected handful of 7-5 MAC and/or Sun Belt teams. They'd better win two more to be safe or it could be a real, real shame for Sylvester Croom.

10. Vanderbilt. Consider me genuinely worried about the 'Dores finding that sixth win down the stretch and getting shut out of the postseason thanks to the rampant glut of BCS bowl-eligible teams and the expected handful of 7-5 MAC and/or Sun Belt teams. They'd better win two more to be safe or it could be a real, real shame for Bobby Johnson.

11. South Carolina. Think of all the incredible running backs the SEC has seen in the last 20 years: Herschel Walker. Bo Jackson. Emmitt Smith. Markeith Cooper. (Wait ... scratch that last one.) Now, think of all the hopeless patsies they played: the Southwestern Louisianas, the Northeastern Louisianas, the Louisiana Techs, etc. And yet it was this year's Gamecocks who not only allowed an all-time SEC record-tying performance, but allowed a different second runner to go for 166 yards on top of that! The mind absolutely boggles.

12. Ole Miss. Winning a tight game over the Northwestern St. "We're not Northwestern" Demons is perfectly excusable in basketball. In football, not so much. The gap between 11 and 12 in this list is probably wider than between any two other teams you'd care to name.