Sunday, November 18, 2007

No glee

It will not be easy. Because the natural, innate response of nearly any college football fan--much less an Auburn fan subjected to the endless, daily barrage of Nick sucking that's been de rigueur since the day of his arrival--of this:

dissolving into this:

and this:

is going to be a certain level of OMGBAMALOLZ glee. It's inescapable, reflexive, like having a doctor strike the soft spot on your knee with a loss to Louisiana-Monroe. The "Boy, 4 million bucks just doesn't go as far as it used to, huh? That inflation's a killer" jokes rise to the tongue as easily as "What?" does when you've missed something in conversation; in fact, I'm watching the MLS Cup final as I type this and didn't even realized I'd written that line until several minutes later. True story*.

But we as Auburn fans--and, it goes without saying, Auburn's coaches and players--are going to have to keep the schadenfreude to the absolute minimum.

Because, first and foremost, the Tide's ULM loss has little-to-no bearing on the outcome of the Iron Bowl. Alabama is still the same team they were headed into yesterday's kickoff: battling-but-undertalented defense, tailback-deficient, explosive-but-turnover-prone in the passing game, without question good enough to win in Jordan-Hare if they play well and Auburn does not. The list of reasons Alabama lost to ULM begins and ends with 1. Motivation and 2. Focus, and 1. Motivation and 2.Focus will not be an issue against Auburn. (Or at least, if they are, there are problems in T-town that go way, way deeper than even losses to Sun Belt teams.)

More importantly, Auburn doesn't have anything Tide-related to crow about just yet. Fun as it might be to have a larf at 'Bama losing to something called the WarHawks today, it's going to even more painful should Auburn be the team that lost to the 'Bama team that lost to something called the WarHawks tomorrow. (Just ask any Michigan victim this season.) Not only is breaking out the party hats and kazoos over another team's accomplishment just begging for karmic backlash (at a time Auburn can least afford it), I've always felt--as I told a certain Tide-loving loser coworker who waltzed into the office wearing a "Honk if you won your bowl game" in the wake of the Wisconsin loss and in wishful ignorance of Shula's "best" team getting the holy crap beaten out of them a few weeks prior--that if you have to rely on other teams for results to celebrate, it's a sign you don't feel like celebrating the results of your own.

This week, that goes double. The bottom line is that this is Iron Bowl week. Yes, a certain amount of knee-jerk cackling is unavoidable. Lord knows I was guilty of that myself yesterday. But until the clock reads all-zeroes this Saturday on the Plains, the first 11 games mean nothing other than giving us a general idea of what we can expect from these teams (i.e. erratic quarterbacking, for one), and any individual result means nothing. Nothing. With any luck, Auburn will emerge victorious Saturday for the sixth straight time, everything will be right with the world, and it'll be no-limit, open season on King Crimson and yet another failed campaign for the Tide.

But unless that happens, at the JCCW ULM 21, Alabama 14 is just another number in the Tide's loss column. Here's to hoping Auburn will make it something else this week.

*For a given definition of "True."


TideDruid said...

Dude, it's going to happen. Auburn will win, so don't worry too much.

Anonymous said...

Alabama: If Pam Ward ends up calling the Iron Bowl, it will be because of you. And if that happens, you will burn in the everlasting fires of 3rd and 21 hell. Forever. If not longer.

Anonymous said...

tidedruid, I see you're employing the "reverse-mojo" technique. Nice try. Fear not, my friend. Your team will be ready come kickoff.

Like Jerry, I take zero enjoyment out of Bama's loss to ULM. The Tide is fully capable of getting their act together and playing lights-out this Saturday. And they will. Bank on it.

Though I've enjoyed our streak of success these past five years, I remember all too well the agony of 1984 and 2001: we were favored heavily, and had our asses handed to us.

Listen. Alabama IS extremely talented. According to all the recruiting mags, the Tide has top five and top ten classes over the past decade. They obviously haven't played to their full potential. However, when motivated (see Tennessee, Georgia, LSU, and Arky games) they'll go toe-to-toe with anyone.

This is a warning.


I certainly hope Coach Tuberville, his staff, and the team do not. I would actually like our chances better if we hadn't had a week off and were playing angry immediately after the disaster in Athens. Instead, we've had a week to mope while the Tide rolls in in a wicked mood. This is works to Bama's advantage.

Think you've had enough of hearing how $aban was going to the the second coming of Jesus Christ and Bear Bryant rolled up in one? Just wait and see what'll happen if we lose this game. Barf-o-rama!!!

Just keep it together and be humble. If GOOD BRANDON shows up, our receivers catch, defense plays Muschamp-style and our cornerbacks and safeties actually look back and try to READ the qb, we just might win the damned thing. Lord knows the offense is due for a big game.

But it won't be easy.

Never is.

War Eagle anyway!

Reynolds Wolf

TideDruid said...

It's more of a wandering comment from a broken man than any reverse-mojo.

Sullivan013 said...

Isn't there room for just a little glee?

After all that the sycophant press spewed after the UT game (quality of the team, Saban's impact, just a matter of time before 13 NCs, etc.), can we not snicker quietly over Bama's Novemeber nightmare?

What if Auburn hangs 42 on Bama on Saturday? Can we ROFLMAO then?

War Eagle


Richard said...

Well, the reverse-mojo has it's place and I really think it belongs on Auburn. You see, the Tide (and Saban) now have a lot to make up for this Saturday. Saban and his minions can all but make ULM (and every other season disappointment) go away with a win at Auburn. I.E., the upside for the Tide if they win is HUGE now. By huge I'm mean 'edge-of-the-universe' as opposed to 'edge-of-the-solar-system' biggie sized. I'm not sure Auburn has that level of 'my shoes are looking a lot like at steak right about now' hunger...and we had better or it's curtains.

War Eagle!


Richard said...

Ok, this makes me feel better...and it should make you feel better too. I found this clip of Saban's post-ULM presser at our friends from the this guy may be the slimiest, greasiest weasel of a head coach we have ever faced. I like that! Look at the body language this rodent gives off while he answers questions...he's almost in the fetal position when he explains the many modes of their loss. God! he's tucking his hands under his armpits while he talks. It wouldn't surprise me, when the camera turned away for a second, if he smelled his fingers. Seriously, if I paid $4 mil, after this sorry spectacle, I'd demand a $3,999,999.99 refund.

War Eagle!


Joe Blow said...

RE: Reynolds

I agree with a lot of what you said. However, recruiting magazines are about making money. The Alabama fan base as a whole spends a lot of money. They aren't going to buy something that doesn't talk about their recruits favorably. Also, there are several homers out there who put out recruiting magazines (Forest Davis) that will boost ratings for their team, and drop the ratings of those players going to other schools.

RE: Sullivan013

I don't see that happening (42 points). If there's one thing that Tuberville does that's consistent, it's taking the foot off of the gas when Auburn's ahead. I'm not one for running up the score, but I'd like to see him do it just once. I think he owes the seniors that much. I don't think he'll be able to do that against Bama, though.