Monday, May 04, 2009

The Works, Attack of the Random Videos-style

This is what the soundtrack of our lives actually sounds like. At least, if you're a male born between the years of, say, 1974 and 1982:

I mean, come on ... Appetite for Destruction and the original NES. The only thing that could make it more perfect was if sneakers with air embedded in clear plastic in the heel were involved somehow.

Get Low. Two posts of note from ESPN's SEC blogger today, one on Benton getting himself eligible, the second on Meyer's anti-Limo Gambit comments. Money grafs from the latter:
Every coach (even Meyer) is constantly trying to come up with a new angle or something fresh to make an impression on these kids.

Sort of like Meyer becoming phone pals with the girlfriend of a top junior college prospect when that girlfriend was attending the same junior college and also being recruiting by the Gators to be a member of the gymnastics team.
Well, gosh, I'm sure Meyer forgot all about that ro he never would have said those nasty things he said about Auburn. Quite, quite sure.

Prowlin'. Audio clip from Curtis Luper's appearance on Roundtable Radio:

Troop Taylor is rocking Marvin Gaye in the limo? Good gravy, he's even more awesome than I thought. More kick-ass Prowl-related quotery from Taylor here.

I, too, am middle-aged as it turns out. Randy Kennedy is trying very, very hard:
For Chizik, 47, that starts with recruiting. His staff made headlines over the last week by traveling around the state together in a stretch limousine, complete with Auburn flags flying from the windows. The "Tiger Prowl" was scoffed at by many rival fans and middle-aged men who probably think Gucci Mane is a high-end hair product.

The people who Chizik and his staff aimed to impress — most all of whom can run a 4.5 40 as well as identify Gucci Mane as a star on the Southern rap scene — were impressed. Every player quoted by the Press-Register and other media outlets said they were impressed by the bling and the message being delivered to their high schools.
Man, he came so close! But, um ... look, maybe I'm the tragically unhip middle-aged man on this one, but ... isn't "bling" reserved for jewelry or gaudy, unnecessary vehicle accoutrement rather than the vehicle itself? Unless Kennedy's trying to pass off the Auburn logo magnets as "bling" (surely not) I think it's a swing and a miss. Though hey, I don't know who Gucci Mane is, so we're not that far apart, he and I. (And I of course vastly prefer Kennedy's take to many other observers'.)

More good news. Nick Fairley is good to-go with the NCAA Clearinghouse. Not a surprise in the least--Benton was thought of as the bigger risk of the two, I think--but excellent news all the same, as Auburn needs defensive tackles every bit as much as they need wide receivers. (Well, maybe not quite that much.)

Hawks? I don't know why you would want to, but if you wanted to write an SAT analogy about my basketball viewing habits, it would go something like "Normal hoops fan : NCAA :: Jerry : NBA." I don't pay much attention during the regular season, just enough to have some idea of what's going on, but once the games actually mean something? I'm so there--especially when it comes to the Hawks, those poor hapless sloggers who have finally come good after so many years in the wilderness.

So if there's anyone else out there (besides jrs) enjoying the Hawks triumph over the Heat yesterday, I'm recommending this incredible in-game quote from Mike Bibby, "victory bullets" at Peachtree Hoops ("Did Joe have some kind of transplant in the middle of this game? He had just airballed a three pointer and then starts drilling thirty five foot shots. How can your next shot after an air ball be from the mid court logo? What kind of confidence do you have to have?"), John Hollinger on the win and how Joe Johnson "envisioned" a day like Sunday when he signed on all those years go. (Of course, he also envisioned rolling around on a mattress stuffed with hundred-dollar bills after seeing the contract the Hawks were giving him, but whatever).

Of course, all that is mostly useless set-up for the following video of the Hawks mascot riding a motorbike on an Atlanta sidewalk, which is for everyone, Hawks fan or not:

I've watched this video a dozen times and I ... I still don't have any words for this.

Go Gus Go. You may have seen this already, but if not, CFN ranked the "Top New Coordinators for 2009" and in a mild upset, look who came in first over Kiffin the Elder:
1. Gus Malzahn, Auburn (offensive coordinator) – And you thought Tony Franklin’s spread offense would cause culture shock at Auburn. For the second year in-a-row, Auburn is going away from the script with its new offensive coordinator, handing the keys to Malzahn, a mad scientist, who arrives with a hurry-up, no-huddle offense and a thick bag of tricks. Bad fit? We’ll see. It’ll all depend on personnel and patience, which were issues in his lone year with Arkansas in 2006.
Well, yes, personnel and patience were also something of a hiccup for Auburn in '08, so there's a double batch of history Malzahn will have to avoid. Roof comes in at No. 10, one spot ahead of GERG.

You're saying there's a chance. PPL, as expected, breaks down Auburn's chances of making the SEC baseball tournament:
The race for that final spot is pretty much a three team race between Auburn (8-16), Kentucky (9-15) and Vanderbilt (10-13). Last week we played the hypotheticals. This week I’ll just spell it out with what Auburn needs to have happen.

Auburn beats Kentucky (2-1)

UGA Beats Vandy (2-1)

That finishes the penultimate week like this: Auburn (10-17), Kentucky (10-17), Vanderbilt (11-15).

That would mean the final week would come and Auburn still wouldn’t be in complete control of our destiny.

That final week Auburn would need to make up some ground. Requiring a series loss by Kentucky to Florida (which is likely) and would need UT to sweep Vandy (highly unlikely) and Auburn to take a series from Alabama. That leaves the three teams like this: Auburn (12-18), Kentucky (11-19) and Vanderbilt (11-18) ...

Even if we swept Kentucky and lost the (final) series to UA, a Vandy series win puts them at 12-17 and moves Auburn to 12-18. Auburn would then miss the SEC tournament by a half game (all because Vandy had a rain out early in the season).

Yeah, its slim.
... but it might be a little better odds than I gave Auburn earlier today, at least.

And lastly, it might be a surprise that the following video featuring two cute young women calling themselves Garfunkel and Oates and playing a small piano and cute acoustic guitar is very much AUDIO NSFW in parts. But that's why you should definitely watch it, you know, as soon as you're not at work:

Me, You and Steve from Erika Lindhome on Vimeo.


jrsuicide said...

foul mouthed hipster girls...i am in love.

Jonesy said...

octuple points to the guys following the Hawks mascot for blasting "Aww Naw" by Nappy Roots. The only thing full of more WIN in that video than the Hawk on a motorcycle

easyedwin said...


J.D. said...

Love the NES GNR. Check out the Zaza Pachulia/Rocky pump-up video on my new blog, Mr. Dizzle's Neighborhood. It's incredible. (The video, not my blog.)

Ben said...

The girl on the left looks other-worldly. Not in the good way either. And there is a good way.

bovinekid said...

Now I'm up at 2am watching Garfunkel & Oates videos over and over.

Thanks a lot, Jerry.

Anonymous said...

Listening to the Roundtable is painful. LT has some of the biggest pair of crimson glasses on in the state. That guy refuses, REFUSES to take them off. Why did he interupt at 5:04?

John said...

The girl on the left made a few cameo appearances on Scrubs this season. Her character's name was Gooch. Seriously.

I took solace in the Hawks winning potentially the worst playoff series ever played. There wasn't a single competitive game. And this has been beaten like a dead horse by the TrueHoop guys, but Josh Smith's production provides a direct correlation between the Hawks' success and failure.

Bibby's quote is money. Just another illustration that the players have minimal, if any respect for Woodson.

Jerry Hinnen said...

bk, you're welcome. Misery loves company, man. I couldn't suffer alone.

john, that's always the thing with the Hawks--they're good, but how good would they be with a real coach they actually respected? But they also can't get rid of Woodson when the team keeps getting better, so they're stuck.