Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Works, meathouse-style

You will be missed, Tez Doolittle. Mostly for the whole "unexpectedly stout play at one of the most critical positions on the defense" thing, but also for quotes like the following:
Doolittle, an Opelika native and six-year defensive tackle at Auburn, went undrafted Saturday and Sunday, but was quickly scooped up by the Seattle Seahawks as an undrafted free agent. He will fly to Seattle on Thursday to go through minicamp.

“I’m going to be like a blind dog in a meathouse,” Doolittle said.
Not just a dog, and not even an "angry" or "hungry" dog ... a blind dog. And a blind dog not "after a piece of steak," as the defensive cliche is usually expressed, and not in a steakhouse or a smokehouse or some other such generally recognized term for a building that would house delicious cuts of meat ... but a blind dog in something called a meathouse. This, ladies and gentleman, is what WIN is made of. Seattle ain't ready.

But we do have to sound a sad note while discussing the fate of Auburn's undrafted free agents, because, uh, Doolittle and Rod Smith (on his way to San Diego, you'll recall) appear to be the lucky ones. With still no reports of other Auburn-related free-agent signings, it now seems safe to assume there aren't any. So for Brad Lester, Tristan Davis, Jason Bosley, and Merrill Johnson: hoo boy, does that suck. I guess maybe they could still attend camp somewhere? Maybe? I dunno. But here's an offer of condolences and well-wishing anyway.

Looking at these two lists, though, at least Doolittle and the rest had some pretty good company in the undrafted pool. Daniel Ellerbe? Top linemen from Penn St. and West Virginia? Jeremiah Johnson? Dude, Mitch King was the Big 10 Defensive Lineman of the Year if I'm not mistaken. You're weird sometimes, NFL teams.

ON THE PROWL. Screenshot of Rivals in the wake of the limo's debut down in Mobile:

Never seen anything like it! "Like their swagger"! Big splash! I should probably stop using exclamation points, but we are talking about seven Auburn assistants driving up to recruits' schools in a pimped-out stretch limo, so I don't think I can!

If you're wondering what sort of mind would come up with such a stunningly brazen scheme, Curtis Luper would like you to know it's the same mind that can say things like this with a straight face:
"This is unprecedented in college football this time of year," Luper said.
Yeah, I guess there's not really much point in humility once you've committed to The Limo, is there?

The more important takeaway from that post, though, is this: there really is a method to Limo Madness beyond, well, spending a week cruising through Alabama in a limo. The staff believes that something big and splashy is necessary to re-establish Auburn's in-state bona fides, and the limo idea is certainly big and even more splashy. With spring now behind us, Chizik and Co. clearly feel like this is the official Start of Something Special, so they might as well treat it like that, right? Who the hell knows how much of an impact it's going to make--even Luper admits that--but when the only real downside is a series of one-liners from all corners of the SECosphere (and having the coaches spread out for the week instead of concentrated in one spot, which, like, fat lot of good that did Tubby the past couple of years) and there's headlines all over the place, it makes sense to me. Prowl on, fellas.

More pictures here, and no, I don't know why those particular shirts were chosen, either.

Baseball. Plainsman Parking Lot says of last weekend's sweep at the hands of LSU: "To put it simply: the weekend sucked."

Yes, yes it did, but after Auburn's earlier string of one-run victories the worm turning into back-to-back one-run losses isn't all that surprising. The Tigers get back on the diamond tonight against Troy, but PPL is already looking ahead to the weekend series with Ole Miss and what it means for Auburn's chances of making the SEC tournament:
Let's play the Hypotheticals with Auburn. Say we win our final 3 Series but don't sweep (going 6-3). That puts us at 14-16. Meaning we'd probably be the final team in. Just barely.

Say we lose (but don't get swept in one of those series, and it's not the UK series). That puts us at 13-17. Meaning we'd miss the Tournament (just barely) because we'd lose the Tiebreaker to South Carolina.

So, it's simple. Win and your in. Just playing the hypotheticals, we MUST WIN our next two series at the least. We get swept by Ole Miss this weekend and we are pretty much done.
Yipes. Old buddy P-Marsh has a few thoughts on the baseball team's woes as well, blaming Auburn batters who swing for the fences literally rather than metaphorically.

Yep. Not that he's telling us anything we didn't know, but Andy Bitter's look at Auburn's offensive line situation is still worth reading in that Stephen King horror-in-black-and-white sense. The starters are of course actually a decent-to-good group, but here's Bitter's projection of the second string:


* OL Bart Eddins, Jr., 6-4, 290
* OL Jared Cooper, So., 6-4, 300
* LG Darrell Roseman, Jr., 6-4, 294
* OT Vance Smith, So., 6-2, 255
* OL A.J. Greene, So., 6-5, 279
Or, left to right: injured, never played, injured and never played, converted tight end, converted defensive end. Look, I'm just not going to discuss or even think about this until August, OK? Is that fair? I think it's fair.

Etc. A worthwhile SEC roundtable at CFN, including an interesting discussion on whether anyone can challenge Florida in the East (i.e., hells to the naw they can't) ... Blutarsky examines why USC can't win national titles anymore despite supplying half the bodies in the NFL draft ... and in the start of what promises to be a terrific series, at TeamSpeedKills Year2 delves into Mark Richt's Pythagorean record and thinks this could be a rough year in Athens.


jrsuicide said...

i find it hard to imagine that Tristan Davis won't make someone's practice squad or possibly even a team with his speed and kick return ability. Lester is the player i feel the worst for, Spread Eagle FailOffense screwed him good.

tiger7_88 said...

Jerry, believe it or not, Auburn long-snapper Robert Shiver has been signed by the Falcons to a free-agent contract.

Dunno if that means the kid has a shot or that they just needed an extra long-snapper for their upcoming mini-camps, but there it is. Good for him.

easyedwin said...

I guess the "limo ride" is more than the works you get at P F Chang's. HILARIOUS !!!!