Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Works, non-scholarship-style

Reassurance as well as picture missing. So, with Wes Byrum hobbled the fate of the Iron Bowl could very well come down to a walk-on sophomore kicker making the first field goal attempt(s) of his college career. And what does this potential Achilles heel and/or future ESPN original movie look like? Let's ask his roster page:



Oh. Nice to know. (If you're actually interested, Hull sort of looks like this.) If you're a believer in The Story--and you dismiss its frightful power at your peril--you must admit that the walk-on so anonymous the school can't even get his picture on the website kicking the game-winner that (sort of) salvages his team's entire season is as Story as it gets.

That said ... yeah, I'd really, really prefer the Iron Bowl doesn't come down to Morgan Hull trying to kick a game-winner. Of course, I won't be dramatically more confident if it comes down to the guy who used to look like this:



who as you may have noticed now looks like a pale shadow of that former self. How pale? A commenter at the Auburner summarizes succinctly:

Wes Byrum ‘07
16/21
76.2%
0/0 from 10-19
5/5 20s
8/9 30s
3/7 40s
0/0 50s

Wes Byrum ‘08
11/19
57.9%
2/2 from 10-19
2/3 20-29
3/6 30-39
3/7 40-49
1/1 50+

:(
For a guy who was who he was last year, 6-of-13 between 30 and 50 yards is just .... just ... well, it's :( is what it is. On the injury front, Byrum is "resting" in the hope he can go against the Tide.

Also in that link: Tommy Trott paid a visit to renowned orthopedist Dr. James Andrews, who probably should have copyrighted the phrase "renowned orthopedist" by now, and had surgery. His season is over. So it goes.

Yes, we would like a T. Boone Pickens without that nasty bankruptcy part, please. So, what pursuits does Tim Cook, heir apparent to Steve Jobs' throne at Apple and an Auburn University engineering grad, like to, uh, pursue in his free time?
Cook is also a workaholic whose only interests outside of Apple appear to be cycling, the outdoors, and Auburn football.
Get this man to work on whatever the iPhone equivalent of a new offense would be, stat! (And while we're at it, ask him for some money.)

I suppose I should address this. As you've no doubt heard, Will Muschamp is off the market. I can't say I see this as a huge deal, since a) Auburn's not in the head coaching market until the moment they are b) frankly, Muschamp could probably benefit from the extra time to learn about head coaching at this level. Just ask Gene "0-8 in the Big 12, here we come" Chizik. The real upshot: it's just one less potential well-qualified candidate for Auburn to interview and one more reason Tubby should be kept another season regardless of the Iron Bowl outcome.

Smoke? Blutarsky unearths the sort of "rural legend" viral e-mail that you just knew was going to surface in the wake of Franklin's departure and the inevitable scapegoating:
i had befriended one of the senior lineman…he was responsible for signaling in plays…he said that this past week was the hardest preparation week they have had all year…the reason…all of the signs that are used had to be changed…apparantly after the utm game, one of the utm coaches came up to tubbs and told him that his signs had been known by every team he’s played since franklin left…not only that, but mark richt called tubbs the week before the uga game (btw mark richt may be my new favorite coach because of this) and told tubberville it was in his best interest to change all of his signs because he knew all of them…wonder why we started going to a huddle now???…from everything i gather, coach tony franklin put those bad boys out there for the world to know…
To which my first reaction was: Poppycock. The offense hit its rock-bottom against Tennessee and Vandy; if opponents are stealing our signals, shouldn't the offense be getting worse instead of better? (Ole Miss, for instance, apparently stole Auburn's signals so effectively that Auburn had their most total yardage since ULM.)

But geez, Tubby didn't do a whole lot to douse this particular fire when talking to the press:
So, in football, having your signs stolen shouldn’t really be an issue. But it’s one of the numerous reasons coach Tommy Tuberville ditched the arm-flailing method of communication brought to the Tigers by Tony Franklin for the old-fashioned huddle technique for Saturday’s game against Georgia.

“You just take too many things for granted that if you’re signaling and people are seeing what you’re doing,” Tuberville said. “When you’re huddling, only 11 people in that huddle know what you’re going to do.”

Tuberville couldn’t pinpoint any examples of supposed sign-stealing.

“As coaches, you’re always wondering why are they slanting this way or doing that,” Tuberville said. “It’s probably not happening, but it gives you peace of mind for your players and coaches.”
Ummm ... huh?

In other, less semi-disturbing Tubby quotations, he's also said that "Recruiting is going fine. It's not affected by losing a few games. As coaches, you'd think it would help mentally a little bit. It really doesn't. A lot of the guys see they may have an opportunity to play a little bit sooner." That's good to hear, but you know what's better to hear? Recruits saying the same thing.

Fans. Some of ours in Huntsville, as you've seen if you have an Internet to look at all, maybe don't have quite so much faith as they ought. Then again, money's tight these days, and it's not like they're leaving the stadium in droves to miss their team's biggest comeback in school history. ATVS has a response to Saturday's exodus you should read.

Also, our fans aren't mentally fast-forwarding past the biggest rivalry game on our schedule to whine about the college football world actually daring to be impressed by scores like 63-5. We've got that going for us.

Etc.
Jeremy invents the next great Internet fad, LOLstreaking ... Michigan blog Wolverine Liberation Army does Hate Week right ... and please forgive my crudity, but does this story mean that Petrino is actively engaging in a Dick measuring contest?

3 comments:

tennessee tiger said...

Arkansas seemed a lot more normal when they had two Nutts than they do now with their two Dicks.

Musket Rebellion said...

The revolution, in all its socialist fervor enjoys the company of the occasional capitalist swine. In other words, thanks for the link. Sincerely - The WLA

Joe Blow said...

There wasn't a game that went by where I didn't say, "Wow, if the producers (ESPN, CBS, Raycom) keep showing Auburn's sideline between every play, someone's bound to break their code.