Friday, June 19, 2009

The Works, Friday-style

This is how to start one's weekend. Bring it, Stevie. And you, Kid Dancing on the Balcony.

Circlin' the wagons. Seriously, if you're going to pay off some I-AA Glass Joe to come into Jordan-Hare for their ritualized 67-second knockout, why not make it a team that's gonna keep the ca$h in-state, huh? I'd rather not play the likes of Jax St. or Samford at all, but I'd rather play the likes of Jax St. or Samford than Furman or those uniform thieves at UT-Martin.

The JCCW: dictating the terms of the Auburn media cycle. OK, not really. (Obviously.) But I have to say I find it a little amusing that earlier this week I responded to the news of Auburn's free-n'-easy ca$h-flow by writing
Happy as I am about this sort of news, I'll be even happier if I get to read a story sometime soon about how the athletic department funneled a chunk of these revenues back to the university
and that today we get a blog post from Evan Woodbery entitled
Auburn athletics department plans to endow professorships, scholarships.
You can see why this is amusing, right? That the trustees happened to meet this week was a beautiful coincidence. But true to my word: I am very happy, and give Fail Jay Jacobs full credit for approaching the University with proposals for how to spend some of their money on academics. Much, much preferred to the school going begging for it, and a sign that Jacobs does, at the very least, have his priorities straight. I can sure as hell give him that much.

Beisbol. So there's been a good handful of newsbits related to the Auburn baseball team the last few days, and I was all ready to hit you with them in a quick bunch ... and then Plainsman Parking Lot just went and did the same thing. So you can just go there and read them. The best news: Auburn just stole a twice-drafted JUCO pitcher out from underneath Arkansas's nose, apparently.

Coachspeak. Rather awesome story here from Jay Tate and the Advertiser. The Trooper-Luper tag-team combo went to an area high school and went through a "mock interview" exercise with students ... in which they answered a series of questions that basically didn't differ at all from a real interview. And since we're talking about Taylor and Luper, some of the responses were candor-rific, particularly Taylor sort-of-paradoxically saying that "I've got to mow my own grass" and then saying he'd try to have his players learn from the Tide's mistakes. (I think his point is that he's not worried about the Tide's punishment, but he's not above using it as a counterexample on his end) and this from Luper:
"We are developing the culture of our football team -- from A to Z. What are they like when they walk across the campus? What are they like when they walk in the building? Will they take their hats off? Will they say 'Yes, sir' and 'Yes ma'am'? Do they take their earrings off? Will they pull their pants up? Everything. To develop that culture adequately takes a couple years."
Man, I have to say, that does make the dress-cod-eand-neat-locker policy go down a little smoother. Particularly since it's about a thousand times nicer to read than a local columnist trying to explain two dozen arrests by saying "You've got to have thugs to win football games." Ugh.

Also: Grimes meets with Woodbery and Roof has a Q&A at the official site. Not too much of interest, though you do have to wonder if Grimes' plan to limit contact in fall practice might lead to a less physical approach come gametime. (Not that I think Grimes has a choice. Auburn just can't afford offensive line injuries. Not one.) Oh, we also learned that Ted Roof's first album was a Hall and Oates record (!) he won from a radio station.

BlAUgosphere. Jay Coulter takes a look at 10 college football media members Track'Em would rather got lost in a dark wood somewhere (just 10?), and though I agree with nearly all of his choices--the zinger about "Glory Days" being written for Mark May couldn't be more on the nose--but man, I have to disagree here:
Holly Rowe - Some things in life you just can't explain. Holly Rowe fits in that category. How she continues to get the top games as sideline reporter on ESPN ahead of Erin Andrews and Bonnie Bernstein is one of the great mysteries of television. It's a question that many drunken men have asked themselves on Saturday nights in the fall.
I'm going to out reveal myself as a member of a very, very slim minority amongst college football fans here, but I don't give a crap about Erin Andrews. Not one tiny, tiny crap. Yeah, she's hot. But I have 250 channels on my digital cable and 8 gazillion websites on my digital Internet. And at least half of them have hot women on them right now. I'm not saying you can have too many hot women, I guess, but it's not like I have to make some great effort when I'm interested in looking at one. And when I'm watching college football, I'm a lot more worried about, you know, the college football rather than hot women. So I'd rather have the sideline reporter who tells me the most about college football and gets the college football coaches to say the most insightful things about college football.

Holly Rowe is way, way better at doing those things than Erin Andrews. I get the "football and hotness: two great tastes that taste great together!" angle, but I don't need to taste anything else. I want to taste as much football as I can, so, yeah, I'll have Holly as my side dish, thanks.

Elsewhere, Fields of Donahue also gets his response on to the Smart Football Malzahn post.

(Yes, I know I took that sideline reporter metaphor about three steps too far. Deal.)

Etc. Lache Seastrunk might have missed that Texas visit because he was busy taking summer school classes, classes that should keep him on track to graduate in December ... Oh my goodness, Iowa hired Norm McDonald for an athletics fundraiser in 1997 and didn't expect "jokes about women having sex with pigs" ... more lulz, this time from the Onion, who skewer the Skip Baylesses of the world appropriately ... not that Bayless is any worse than Buzz Bissinger, who apparently can't tell the actual Harold Reynolds apart from the blog "Hugging Harold Reynolds"; please no one tell him about this site, just in case he ever meets he actual Joe Cribbs ... and lastly, I can't say I have their confidence, but there is one pre-season magazine out there with Auburn in front of Arkansas.

Enjoy your weekend.


J.D. said...

Re: Norm MacDonald

Love that guy. My buddy from high school and I used to stay up and die when he did Weekend Update.

He was on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien (still weird to type that out) last week and Jim Gaffigan came on after him. I was crying I was laughing so hard, but I was thinking about my grandma who always stayed up and watched Leno. I just knew she would hate it.

John said...

Good to see some of your comments on RBR today. I grew up a Bama fan (the Bear actually held my eldest sister on my grandmother's couch in Opp, Alabama from his participation in the Domino tournament in Andalusia, Alabama - started by my uncle Charles Tomberlin). All that to say, I'm Crimson through and through, my sister went to AU and was considered a traitor (different sister), and I have many Auburn friends. All that to say, you do a great job with the blog. Tons of writing, always funny, never taking yourself too seriously, and the Arrested Development bit from way back when was one of the best things on any SEC blog from any year. Guz vs. Saban should be some good X's and O's football stuff and I look forward to it. Keep up the good work, and thanks for all the work - even from a rival's blog. Well done.

Marcus said...

First off, I like Roof a lot more now knowing he's down with some Hall & Oates.
Secondly, I'm with you on the Erin Andrews obsession... I just don't get it. She's okay, but I think she's more akin to the "hot girl" in my engineering classes (i.e. the hottest of the three girls in a group of 30 guys who wouldn't get a second look in a History class).
My wife and I love it when Holly Rowe is on so we can see what fashion disaster she's sporting. One night I swear she was wearing a leather biker cap. It was hilarious. Oh, and her calling Wes "Freshman" and totally snubbing Cox at the end of the 2007 UF game was also hilarious (though she did seem to be apologizing when she finally noticed Cox standing there).

Walt said...

Jerry, you need to take a look into the I-AA opponent that 'Bama is putting on the schedule for next year. They're going to play my beloved Georgia Southern Eagles in 2011, but in 2010 it appears that they're going to play Georgia State. Now, I get the whole "Bill Curry Alabama connection" idea behind that. But I can't help but think (and laugh) at the heat that 'Bama will take from playing Georgia State in their VERY FIRST SEASON OF FOOTBALL. Talk about a serious strength of schedule hit.

KungFuPanda9 said...

I remember Holly wearing that hat. Oh well, we've all worn something stupid. Also, she stopped wearing the low cut tops. I guess she felt more secure about her talent after awhile.

I think I saw that Stevie Wonder performance on Sesame Street. Very cool song. It's in E flat, so anybody can play the mail riff with the black keys.

Wallacewade04 said...

we may be playing an extremely weak team, but we still have Penn State on the schedule that year to balance it out. Not brave by any means but a certain balance

DOOD I remembered your post about the USMNT! Can you believe that shit? Here comes number 1 Spain baby

Jerry Hinnen said...

Honestly, I can't make myself care that the Tide's playing Georgia St. So they give their starters two series instead of four. Once you're playing a I-AA team that's not Appalachian St. or some equivalent, it's all the same, all an exhibition. The difference between playing North Texas and, to pick an example completely at random, Louisiana Tech is much, much more substantial than the difference in playing Furman and Georgia St.

JD: McDonald and Gaffigan?!? I'll have to Hulu that.

Marcus, you're exactly right with your engineering class example. And yes, I also remember Holly's biker hat. Another reason she's the best there is. No one else has that kind of fashion bravado.

John: thanks.

WW: no, I cannot believe that shit. Astounding what can happen when a) Bradley actually plays something close to his best 11 guys 2) the US doesn't go down a man. I actually think the Spain game will be competitive--the U.S.'s back line has been really good (save for Bornstein, who's only been OK) and the Spanish will leave some room for Donovan/Bradley/Dempsey on the counter. I'd really love to see Dempsey start the game up top with Feilhaber (or even better, Torres) in midfield, but I guess we'll probably see Davies get the start again.