Monday, September 15, 2008

The Works, Offense without a Face-style

Sheer brilliance from TWER:

The text version of the argument:
It’s the damn novelty of the score, not the full-context reality of the game, that’s got everybody so pissed off, so dreading the Nelson laugh. Screw Nelson. Nelson’s offense only managed 172 yards against Tulane. Nelson is a tool.
I'm not sure I can follow Jeremy all the way down the "Ain't skeered" yellow brick road here--315 yards, yes, but there were a metric ton of possessions in that game and 4.4 yards a play is nothing to write home about--but it's a question sure as hell worth asking: if Wes Byrum connects on those two very makeable field goals and Auburn wins 9-2, is anyone nearly so up-in-arms about the Spread Eagle's clipped wings (yours truly included)? There'd be some squawking about the EPIC FAIL in the red zone, sure, but I'm guessing the cries of "Off with his head!" would have been scuppered for the time being.

Meaning: it's a shame they weren't scuppered in the first place, since mind-bullets* would be the only method Tony Franklin might have to keep Byrum from honking those kicks.

At least he's a gentleman. Even as various hairtrigger Auburn fans hold bake sales in the name putting a worthwhile bounty on his head, Tony Franklin does keep sayin' the right things:
"I think it's natural when you have challenges that people want to blame everybody," he said. "It always starts with me. I think that's the first finger that needs to be pointed, is at me. I haven't done as good a job as I should have done."
Obviously the apologies will get tiresome should they have to continue past this coming weekend, but Franklin also makes the right noises about the offense in general, comparing the situation to his struggles at Troy and sounding confident his unit is "close" to pulling it all together. Maybe it's blind Pollyannaism that makes me believe him, or a gut feeling that anyone who's such a good, candid quote can't be a bald-faced liar, but hell, I'll bite: I think we see something much more polished Saturday.

Tubbyness. Per Jay Tate:
On grading the team: "We get an A+ for winning."
That just made me laugh. And oh, about waiting for a "positive note" to get Burns into the game, well, to be frank it puts me in mind of the Flaming Lips --

I was waiting on a moment
But the moment never came
All the billion other moments
Were just slipping all away

--but Tubby's the boss. I'm not ready to say he's ego tripping at the gates of hell just yet. (His "You can't get better doubting what you're doing" support of Franklin is also appreciated.)

FYI. Starting LSU middle linebacker/freak Darry Beckwith will miss the Auburn game with a knee injury. Beckwith will be replaced by second-string middle linebacker/freak Jacob Cutrera. ATVS says Cutrera "looks like he's ready to play," dammit.

Good times. Your animated drive chart for MSU: as with everything Auburn this week, neatly divided between defensive bliss and offensive tumult:

Full Screen Version

Yep, another one. Time to add another worthwhile reporter's blog to your feeds and bookmarks as the Anniston Star's Luke Brietzke (also seen at David Ching's old blog in recent weeks) has what appears to be a permanent blog home at the Star's Auburn Beat. An early highlight: Gabe McKenzie would still like to play tight end. Um ... Gabe, you did notice that Tommy Trott's caught barely more than a ball a game, right?

Etc. The Senator points out Auburn's 6.5 percent opponent third-down conversion rate deserves the eye-popping ... If you're looking for encouragement regarding the West Virginia game, the eerie similarities between last year's Louisville and this year's WVU squad should help ... Dr. Saturday gets poetic in honor of offensive ineptness ... Language warning on this one, but JRS's nickname for Matt Ryan made me quite literally Laugh Out Loud ...

*That's telekinesis, Kyle!


jrsuicide said...

just doing my part for the self loathing Falcons fans everywhere.

Matthew D. said...

A brilliant blog, Jerry. I love your slightly sarcastic writing style and I hope you continue to post, well, anything. My family wanted to say hello, too. -Matt