Wish List: Vanderbilt

This image selected to remind you both of what Auburn overcame to beat Florida and what our last several early-Saturday games have been like.

A few assorted links before this week's Wish List:

--Not even remotely new to anyone, but after repeatedly taking Ryan Ferguson to task for his anti-Cox comments I should probably acknowledge his gracious, classy, intelligent post in the wake of the football gods' decision to award Auburn sole, full custody of the Gators last Saturday (we'll see this weekend if LSU gets visitation rights). Gracious enough, in fact, that despite every impulse to the contrary I'm going to just gloss over his gripe that the officiating was "one-sided". Even if doing so makes my eye twitch.

(And oh, as for a certain colleague of Ferguson's at O&BH whose take on Auburn came in for a well-deserved flogging here and elsewhere, the deluded rants of sub-message-board clowns who call an offensive line that just got finished shoving his team around all over the field "inept" aren't worth dignifying with a response (or a link). You won't see him referred to in this space again.)

--Between their classic Teagle photoshops and Bryant cartoon violence post, it's relatively safe to say that no other blog devoted to a team outside the SEC gets as much attention from the state of Alabama as the MZone. Which probably explains why they took the time this week to point out the stupidest Auburn t-shirt ever printed and played host to the funniest comment yet on the coaching rumors du jour: "Miles to Mich, Tuberville to aTm, Petrino to LSU, Barfield to Auburn." Sweet.

I was going to post a picture of Barfield with the ironic caption "Auburn's next coach?" But a Google image search for "doug barfield auburn" turned up no pictures of Barfield. It did turn up this guy. I think he might have made a better coach.

--You have to read Will's beautiful excoriation of Ray Melick's indefensible pandering to King Crimson. I have no doubt that Melick's brand of "protection" is something that happens on a regular basis with media on both sides of the state, but it's something that you better damn well not get caught doing and if you are, goodness gracious you better have a better excuse than "Well, it turns I am his personal lapdog after all." Melick's credibility with Auburn fans--like the temperature of his buddy "Nick"'s cold, cold heart--is now officially somewhere well, well below zero.

--I screwed up by forgetting my SEC Power Poll ballot this week, so I didn't get the plaudits from one and all I would've gotten for ranking Kentucky about sixth and boldly predicting last night's defeat. (Well, I would have gotten them from our cat. I told her.) So I'd better go ahead and say that I don't think Florida's going to beat LSU tomorrow night--but it's going to be a down-to-the-wire, decided-by-a-field-goal type game. Meyer will have the Gators ready.

On with the Wish List, starting with two for the whole team:

1. That they set their alarm clocks correctly or don't tear the club up the night before or just do whatever the hell is the opposite of what they've been doing before 11:30 a.m. kickoffs. Seriously ... the last four early "starts" for Auburn have resulted in 1) Croomage 2) the Cotton Bowl, a surefire ESPY nominee for "Dog-Ugliest Win" if they hadn't decided to skip that category 3) the Georgia beatdown, just the thought of which makes me want a drink in my hand NOW 4) The Arkansas beatdown MAKE IT A DOUBLE. You also don't have to go to far back to the Capital One Bowl fiasco, yet another suspiciously hangover-esque performance.

I have no even halfway plausible explanation for why the team seems so utterly ill-prepared for early kickoffs--and at home for three of them, no less, ruling out a team-wide SpectraVision addiction--and thus no real recommendation for fixing it. I just know they better, because this game scares the ... well, a whole variety of substances out of me. So I also wish ...

2. That they share that terror. Think about it: all the youngest team in the league and almost the whole daggum country has heard all week long, from every angle, is some variation on You ... are so ... AWESOME.

I worry that the Tigers are going to get up Saturday, see Vandy on the schedule, and just want to make an omelette ... and suddenly realize that Vandy has them squeezed so tight they can't even do that.


The chances of Auburn fans saying "This .. is not ... awesome" at some point during Saturday's game are quite, quite good.

You would think that the Miss. St. game would have cured them of that, but again: this team is younger than youngerson. This is the first time they've really been praised all season. Our coaching staff has never shown the ability to get their team properly focused on the alleged lightweights of the schedule, even when--like Vandy--they punch well above their weight. If the Tigers don't have the proper fear and respect for a Vandy team that may be a little underrated at the oment thanks to Nickson's no-show against the Tide and all the Kentucky fawning, this will be a win streak truly built too small.

When Auburn has the ball.

3. That the brain trust lets Kodi pass. Whatever the headline writers at the B'ham News might have to say about it, Burns isn't 2006 Tebow yet by a longshot. For starters, he's used even more sparingly--six snaps the other night, zero meaningful ones vs. NMSU after Cox had been reinstated. If Auburn really wants opposing DC's on their toes the week before, they'll need to use Burns a bit more often. The Florida TD notwithstanding, he's more like a trick play opponents know is in the bag at this point than an actual weapon.

Or at least he would be if there was any trickiness to him. Every snap against Florida was some variation on the Incredibly Surprising Quarterback Draw--even on the lateral from Cox he was supposed to do the running on rather than pass / hand-off / do anything unexpected. If Auburn wants the WunderTime effect as badly as they seem to, they need to let Burns do some of the things Tebow did last year: play-action pass, pitch on the option, weird gadgetry like maybe the lateral from Cox ... followed by a step forward to draw the D, then a retreat and toss? Not that play exactly, necessarily, but why not something like it? Run it once, and every time Burns steps on the field again, the D gets that same nervousness that made WunderTim such a handful last season. If Tubby's going to torch Burns's redshirt, let's get all we can out of him.

4. That Borges doesn't go nuts with Cox. Yes, Brandon finally looked like the real-life quarterback we all remembered in sepia tones from 2005. Now that he can do so without feeling like disaster's waiting to strike every time he asks for a passp lay, Borges must surely be tempted to start winging it around again. But it's Cox's lackluster performances in these disappointing g-a.m.-es (so, so clever I am) that have been much of the catalyst. Not that it takes some sort of football savant to say "Establish the run," but given Lester's return and that the Tide--the only real opponent Vandy has played to date--gashed the 'Dores on the ground like whoah, Auburn really should make sure they establish the run.

When Vandy has the ball.

5. That Coleman and Carter stay stout vs. the run. Hopefully Groves's replacements were paying closer attention when Quentin was playing fundamentally sound against Florida rather than when he was on his whole "Hey, I know they might run right in the space I'm going to create by pell-mell to the QB in pursuit of a meaningless record, but you guys can cover for me, right?" kick. 2nd- and 3rd-and-long where Nickson and his scattershot arm (I call him "Dr. Misfire") have to think pass first are bad for Vandy. 2nd- and 3rd-and-short where Nickson can hand off or run it himself or throw short to Bennett or air it out deep for, uh, Bennett are much, much better. With Marks o nthe other side, the new DEs are going to be run at and it's up to them to stand up vs. Vandy's impressive-looking five-seniors offensive line to make sure those 2nd- and 3rd-and-shorts don't happen.

6. That Blackmon feels better. Auburn's D did a fantastic job of not breaking after bending a bit vs. Florida, but if Blackmon's back to his wrecking-ball-made-of-evil ways, methinks Auburn doesn't even bend. Hopefully we'll get some indications this week that that Blackmon will return to us soon to replace the meek (by his standards) impostor we saw last Saturday.