Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Works, Gator haterade-style

Yes, that's right, celebrate. Keep celebrating. Nothing to worry about this week, oh no. Oh no.

A fisk worthy of Carlton. So I remember reading this Fanhouse post by noted Florida fan and unbearably smug Brandon Cox-trasher Ryan Ferguson, and I think, "Hmm, fisking's usually reserved for MSM clowns and Heismanpundit. And that's not a fight I've really got a dog in. But it is Gator Hatin' week, and boy, what a load of deceptive codswallop this is. There's a shrink somewhere scribbling 'abandonment issues' in a little notebook just out of reflex. I should really take this apart."

One of the nice things about blogging, though, is that somebody will sometimes do your work for you. And sure enough, Brandon of Garnet and Black Attack and his demon-possessed blue-eyed anime Rooster of Doom took it to Ferguson good in this post, which I highly recommend even if he does say a quick not-nice thing about our Tigers. After all, it is a Gator on the receiving end of the takedown. What do Brandon, the JCCW, and Pitchfork all have in common? On a 1-10 scale we give Ryan Ferguson a 2.8.

I still feel like I need to do me some Gator-mocking, though. So at least we've got Ferguson's original-and-occasional stomping grounds at Orange and Blue Hue. Go back to the wake of the MSU loss, and you'll find "Keltic Gator" (I assume with a K because he/she got tried of trying to remember how that darn C was pronounced, definitely a frustrating problem when it's your own handle) writing the following:
This time it was the Mississippi Bulldogs who outhit and bullied the Auburn Pussies up and down the field. Now that Auburn has faced extreme adversity we will see how they respond. My prediction is that they will roll over and die: aka “Dead Pussy walking”!!! By the way Gator fans, this isn’t one of the stiffer SEC tests I was referring to in the previous section. Auburn is not as good as UT and will also be blown out in the swamp.
Dude, Auburn's name is the "Tigers," and you know how "pussy" can also, mean, like "cat"? So I call them the "pussies" 'cause tigers are just big cats and dude, I totally got like, the dirtiest word ever right there in my blog and it's totally OK! Mom totally can't say anything! Score!

I should also quote Terry Pratchett here and point out those multiple exclamation points, the sure sign of a diseased mind. And most importantly: take it from the guy who called Miss. St. an auto-win, you don't want to go assuming you'll blow out another SEC team, particularly one that has the sort of road and vs. top-10 record Tubby's Auburn does. Karma: so, so tempted right now.

Plus, there's the whole, you know, history. Saurian Sagacity provided the Gators' view of it in style last January, but forgive me for preferring the walk down YouTube memory lane served up this week by recent blogroll addee the War Eagle Reader. I don't entirely share J.Henderson's (nice initials there) 41-28 (!) confidence, but he's right that the teams' past sure as hell make Auburn a threat to "forge a mighty shiv between the hash marks and shove - humbly, but without reservation, and with Can-Do Auburn Relish (CDAR) - into [their] soft, overrated, reptilian gut," as he nicely puts it.

Same page, different paragraphs. Will responded to my take on his take on the offense vs. NMSU, and we're really not that far apart as shown by his quoting, well, me in response to me). I 100 percent agree with Will that the 2006-style grind-grind-grind-playaction routine isn't going to cut it against this schedule and he makes an excellent point about how that philosophy sets Auburn up for things like breakdowns in the return game to become game-deciding plays. The question is whether Auburn's 2007 personnel are even capable of having the training wheels taken off, and I don't think given the catastrophic consequences of a loss the NMSU game was a good time to try it ... but Will is absolutely correct that the same gameplan that worked there is not suited for this Saturday's game.

Of course, the real story here is that we got a second post out of Will this week. Obviously, I should disagree with him more often. YOU HEAR ME COLLIER? THOSE FOLKS OVER AT HOOVER HIGH ARE SAINTS!

To T or not to T. One of the real (only?) joys of this season has been the rise of the Auburn media blog. We all know about Phillip Marshall, but there's solid work being done at Turner Loose and Jay G. Tate's blog for the Advertiser. The buzz this week is about Tristan Davis, who Marshall and Turner seem to buy Tubby's line that Davis could see time on kickoffs, but Tate's description of Davis walking like "an old lady" has me thinking it's not time yet. Tate today also rewound to the MSU game for yet another shrewd example of how badly the pendulum of luck has swung against Auburn this season. It's the tidbits like these that don't always make the front page stories that help make Auburn's media coverage better now than ever.

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