Sunday, October 01, 2006

*insert exciting headline for weekend opinions here*

What I watched Saturday …


--If you’re a Bama fan, must be nice to see Ken Darby running like Ken Darby and not Hoppy McDancerson again. If you’re not a Bama fan, and your team has to play Bama at Bama later in the season, it’s much less nice.
--Did anyone else feel kind of embarrassed that Chris LeakBot 2.1 finally shows some emotion on the football field, but instead of a TD pass or great throw it’s because he pulled off a nice QB draw? That Brett Favre act he pulled might as well have been Leak screaming “Did you see me Florida fans Daddy? Look, Daddy, I can run just as well as Tim! I ran 45 yards, Daddy! Did you see it?”
--Bama’s going to beat someone they shouldn’t sometime this year. 323 total yards. Six straight possessions into Florida territory at one point. A solid Darby + a Wilson that doesn’t make a bad play or two will = a big victory sooner or later. Please, please, let it be LSU or the Vols.
--That said, 323 yards with no TDs and three crushing turnovers doesn’t make the 2006 Tide the second coming of 1984 BYU just yet. In fact, it might make the Tide’s offense kind of “ridiculous.” I didn’t say it, though.
--Something tells me Bo Pelini’s defense won’t act quite so surprised that Tim Tebow runs off-tackle left against them when, as we all know he will (“we” at this point including even Lou Holtz, collies, Rosie O’Donnell, especially bright goldfish, etc.), Tim Tebow runs off-tackle left against them. Florida’s a good team, but they keep falling behind and LSU’s defense is not going to let them come back.


--Do you hate Jefferson-Pilot Lincoln Financial broadcasts, SEC fans? Try living without them. My options from the Michigan homebase in the noon Eastern/11 central slot this week were UT-Memphis (ugly), Illinois-Michigan St. (painful), and Wisconsin-Indiana (avert your eyes, kids!) (Yes, I’m well aware that Lincoln was showing the LSU-MSU bloodbath this week. At least that would have given me 10 seconds' worth of rooting for Sylvester Croom.) Sigh. Can I go ahead and make my “Game Plan” deposit for next year now?
--41 points, huh, Memphis? That’s what you get for firing the great Joe Lee Dunn! (This joke is funnier if you imagine farting noises to go along with Dunn’s picture.)

Ohio St.-Iowa

--I know most people are already ordering their bunting and paper flowers for the Buckeyes’ victory parade, but if Michigan and Ohio St. played today I’d take the Wolverines. Ohio St. has yet to stop their opponent’s running game. This hasn’t been an issue yet because they’ve been waaaaaay out in front of everyone they’ve played save for Penn St., whose passing game, well, looks like it was designed by Joe Paterno. Things vs. Mr. Mike Hart would be just a touch different.
--Man, did you know there were some crazy people out there who thought Iowa would win this game and go on to the BCS championship game? No, it’s true! I bet they feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? (On the other hand, at least said crazy person didn't pick Miami or Cal, either.)

Georgia-Ole Miss

--Oh … oh my. And not “oh my” in the good Dick Enberg way. “Oh my” as in “I would say ‘Both these teams are playing like cat poop,’ if it wasn’t an insult to my cat’s poop, which could at least theoretically be used to help plants grow, whereas anything planted in the remains of this game would wither and die.”
--Can’t we all just agree to go ahead and rename MSU-Ole Miss the “Lay an Egg Bowl” just for this year? (Too easy. I know.)

Elsewhere …

--USC was the third-most impressive team in the Pac-10 this week. I know it’s a long way from Los Angeles to Pullman, but it’s a long way from Eugene to Tempe or Berkeley to Corvallis, too.
--Speaking of the Sun Devils, I guess that whole “Announce senior as starter, then give into player revolt by back-up QB’s best friends and start back-up over senior, driving senior to transfer” decision really hasn’t worked out. I’m so surprised. So very, very surprised.
--Irony of Ironies: Vanderbilt entered the Temple game 3-0 vs. the spread. Temple entered 0-4. Temple covered. Of course.
--I was going to fire up a big joke about pollsters’ grasp of basic math skills (i.e. “Kids, is 36 >, <, or = to 6?”), but when Team A can crush Team B on the field, have the same record as Team B, and have played a tougher schedule than Team B, and still be ranked two spots behind Team B, then what the hell’s the point?

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