Indefensible (and other observations from Bowlapalooza)

As I'd (obviously) rather focus on the (many) positives from the delicious, savory, Chick-Fil-A I enjoyed the other night ... er, Chick-Fil-A Bowl we all enjoyed the other night, I'll keep this as short and sweet as I can:

There is no defending the actions of the Auburn offensive line this time. Can't be done. Won't be done here.

I did so the first time. I believed that with no track record, a reasonable explanation, and Tubby's word, Auburn deserved the benefit of the doubt. But if once is a fluke, twice is a trend. Fool me once, etc. The icy facts are these: twice this season television cameras have shown Auburn chop-blocking an opposing defensive tackle out of the game; that did not happen a single time this season to an Auburn defensive tackle. I'm sure a few Auburn supporters will say all manner of skulduggery goes on in the trenches on all sides--that Auburn's just the team that's gotten caught--but that's not the evidence we have. The evidence we have from Auburn's games in 2007 is that Auburn chop blocks, and Auburn's opponents do not.

Which is why Tubby needs to act now in the face of that evidence. Suspend Pugh for the first two games of 2008. Suspend Hugh Nall for the season opener. Hold a chop-block specific press conference to announce the suspensions and reaffirm that Auburn will not tolerate this kind of nauseating play.

That, of course, was what Tubby said after the Dorsey block: that he "won't tolerate it." Then why has it happened again? (That I can find, no one in the state media has asked him that question. If Tubby's gone on record with a response I've missed, someone please leave a link in the comments. But in any case, it's a little depressing that it's an issue when it happens to LSU All-American Glenn Dorsey, and all but irrelevant when it happens to an anonymous Clemson player.) The first time, I felt that intent mattered. This time, it doesn't. Whether Auburn's coaching staff is coaching this technique or has been too negligent to coach (or demand) the proper technique, opposing players are still being injured. And to this point there have been no consequences for the Auburn players who have caused those injuries or position coaches whose players are involved. Like any Auburn fan, I trusted Tubby enough that words were enough after the first incident. But Pugh's actions Monday speak a lot louder than anything Tubby can say at this point. Until he proves otherwise, we're left to conclude that maybe the naysayers and cynics were right the first time: maybe Tubby really doesn't care about chop blocks.

So again: it's time to act. Auburn may or may not be a dirty team coached by mustache-twirling villains--being me, I cannot help but believe Auburn is still 'good people,' so to speak, with two inexplicable bad episodes--but that's going to be the perception for the forseeable future unless Tubby does something about it. I, for one, really, really, don't want to root for a dirty team coached by mustache-twirling villains. So do something about it, Tubby. Please.

Elsewhere ...

--Like every other Auburn fan, I would like very much please sirs for Will Muschamp to stay, but I'm not going to cry into my beer this weekend if he bolts. The Nallsminger debacle excepted, if there's one thing Tubby has proven himself capable of doing it's hiring exceptional coordinators. He'll find someone. And I'll believe it's necessary when I see it; as Jay Tate sagely pointed out, Muschamp is now represented by Jimmy Sexton. Meaning that he's about to be rumored for every DC/head coaching position that comes available for any team above the Sun Belt. We'll see.

--One of the most interesting posts of the year was Orson and PB's "Rules for 2007" screed and the dictum to cease "the tired, generic Conference War Chest Thumping." At the time I thought that might go a little far, since the overall strength of a conference (as best it can be judged) has such a powerful impact on a given team's strength-of-schedule. But if we've really come to live in a world where we can write that Michigan's six-point victory over Florida "sets the SEC back 10 years" and not be greeted with immediate guffawing, snickering, and general cries of derision, we as a college football society have come too far. A winning SEC bowl record (6-2 so far, 2-1 in what might be called the "even" matchups in the Independence, Chick-Fil-A, and Capital One ... yes, it will take years for the embarrassment to fade) is nice, of course. But it just means the SEC might have been a little stronger overall and its teams play a little tougher schedule; no one with the brains God gave the humble giant clam expected the SEC to go undefeated, or believes there aren't any good teams outside the SEC, or that every Big 10/Big East/pick-a-league team you choose couldn't compete in our conference. Michigan's win just means Michigan's a good team and Florida has a questionable defense, the same way the 2007 BCS title game just showed that Florida was a thousand times better prepared than the Bucks and that their defensive line was better than OSU's o-line. End of those stories. For our sanity, we have to stop analyzing every decent inter-conference matchup as some kind of final, definitive OMG YOUR CONFERENCE IS THE TOTAL SUCK BECAUSE THAT ONE CORNERBACK GOT BURNED statement. (Of course, maybe the real story here is just "Ryan Ferguson enjoys writing attention-grabbing headlines he doesn't actually believe just to get himself heard above the general Fanhouse rabble," and that's hardly news, but he's hardly been alone in that shameless approach when it comes to the Conference Wars, either.)

--All right, take a moment to remember how little Paul Maguire added to the Chick-Fil-A broadcast, and that he's basically been reduced to a kind of football-production carnival sideshow. Now, think about the utter butchery Mike Patrick made of not only the Capital One but every game he mutilated this season. Now, shudder with horror as you are forced to recall that those two worked on the same broadcasting team ... with Joe Theismann ... for years! I bet NFL fans still give themselves high-fives when they watch Sunday night games that aren't called by those three. You know how horrible, awful news reports about train wrecks and chemical plant disasters didn't seem quite as bad when you were a kid because you didn't really understand how terrible those things were? I feel that way about the NFL games the Maguire-Patrick-Theismann team called ... I know I watched them, I knew it was something awful, I just didn't fully grasp the scope of the tragedy.

--As I basically agree with everything Brian Cook said about West Virginia hiring Bill Stewart in what the Brits would call "a rush of blood to the head," I think Auburn could have come out worse re: the Mountaineer hire and the next two years' contests. Could have been better, too, of course, but I'm not going to complain. Stewart's not going to bring anything to the table that Rodriguez isn't taking away.

--Hawaii pissed me the hell off this season. I firmly, firmly believe that qualified mid-majors should get their shot; whether it's Tulane, Boise, Marshall, Utah, whoever, I've always wanted to see them have the chance to measure themselves NCAA tournament-style against the big boys at the end of the year. If they deserve it. Teams that play Hawaii's schedule and can't even dominate it--seriously, overtime against both San Jose St. and Louisiana Tech?--don't. It wasn't ever really a question. But of course pollsters are never going to care enough to differentiate between a 12-0 Boise St. (that beat decent BCS teams and crushed WAC opposition) and a 12-0 Hawaii (that had to mount a desperate comeback to beat their one sorry BCS opponent and was extraordinarily fortunate to finish their WAC slate undefeated). So just as Hawaii got a free pass on the coattails of Boise, now I worry the Warriors have screwed it up for future mid-majors. If, say, Tulsa catches fire, beats someone like TCU, and rolls over C-USA en route to a bona fide 12-0 next year, my guess is that now the pollsters will look at them and see nothing but Hawaii getting run out of the Superdome. If that happens, I propose June Jones be forced to wear Mangino's track suit--the actual garment, no matter how much the extra fabric may cause Jones to break out in fever sweats--in the Hawaii heat.

OK, Chick-Fil-A Bowl recap, final thoughts on Auburn's season, mid-majors stuff (finally, I know) all coming soon, though I know I say that every week.