Friday, July 11, 2008

Help TWER buy Pat Dye's Pants

It's only been a week, and you've already forgotten, haven't you? Pat Dye lost his pants in Lake Martin in 1985! Not just his pants, but his wallet! And his car keys! In 1985! And they were found and returned to him just this month, after sitting at the bottom of the lake for 23 freaking years! You can't stop using exclamation points either, can you?!? Your thoughts, right now, about Pat Dye's Pants have exclamation points! You can say they don't, but I don't believe you!

Naturally, everybody who likes college football and incredible stories about pants lost in mysterious circumstances from 1985 being found and returned--basically, everybody who likes college football--spread the word. about Pat Dye's Pants. But I have to say the best ... perhaps the proper response came from the War Eagle Reader, where they kickstarted a fund-raising campaign to buy Pat Dye's Pants at auction.

Why is this the proper response? Because, have you thought for a moment about what would happen if Pat Dye's Pants fell into the wrong hands? Is that really something you, Auburn fan, want to risk? Would you really like to see this picture ...



... with all the purple switced with crimson? Would you really like to chance Enrique Davis running for 37 TDs and 2,407 yards over four games against Auburn as Nutt's bunch suddenly puts together a four-game Tiger win streak? Or Nike sign on to do this to our uniforms?

Because that's what's at stake. Let Pet Dye's Pants slip into the hands of villains, and we're just asking for

Typhoons!

Hurricanes!

Earthquakes!

SMOG!


So donate. (And while you're at it, you should probably check out TWER's other excellent recent posts, like this one or this one.)

(UPDATED for basic errors in math [see the comments] and because I thought, upon reflection, that I should probably provide a fuller explanation for the "disasters" bit there. I doubt there's any legitimate excuse out there for having never seen the greatest cartoon ever produced ("Grew up in a cave"? "Native of the rainforests of New Guinea?" Sorry, not gonna fly), but ... just in case:

)

2 comments:

Hobbes said...

1985. Not 1975. But still.

Jerry Hinnen said...

Sure, 1975. 2008 minus 23 equals ... oh. Go English Major, Go!