The Works, OMGBAMALOLZ-style

("The Works" is the JCCW's new clever name for links posts, a la Unverifed Voracity or Dawg Bites or the Hub. 'Cause, you know, it's a car wash. Yeah.)

OMGBAMALOLZ. Exhibit #397B in the case against time spent cruising giant SEC message boards: this thread on the TideSports forum, in which"expert" "Trev Alberts" from Fire Mark May is hailed for prognosticating Bama victories over the 'Noles and LSU. It's now 17 replies later, and not one poster has stepped to the plate and suggested that maaaaaaybe the actual Trev Alberts (whose real-life gig isn't exactly a state secret) wouldn't actually be posting quotes like "Of course, I'm going to look back on this ... and say 'What was I on?' At least we'll all know that answer. Jager" on a site named "Fire Mark May" under the alias "irishoutsider." Maybe. Though if he is, it's good to know the Muppet Newscaster landed on his feet.

This really isn't meant to poke fun at Bama fans. Mostly. Well, like 60/40, not-poking to poking. There's most likely an identical thread like that somewhere on the Internets with Auburn fans discussing how Joe Cribbs said this or that ... at least, there would be, if anyone was reading. No, the principal point is that, once again, trying to get reliable info out of big SEC message boards (particularly freebies) is like asking Lindsay Lohan to spearhead the Middle East peace process. Pssst, Bama fans ... check your blogs instead.

Jacobs' ladder (of progress). As pointed out last time, Paul Finebaum derided AU AD Jay Jacobs this week as a toothless "bureuacrat" in comparison with the godlike Jeremy Foley at Florida. Jacobs admittedly has some work ahead of him to match Foley (as does every single AD in America), but after getting both the OK on a dynamite new arena that could singlehandedly revitalize Auburn basketball and the AU-Clemson home-and-home back on the schedule on a single Thursday, it's hard to say Jacobs isn't moving in the right direction, and at a pretty good clip, too.

As for Clemson, the JCCW is always delighted to see another full-bodied, crisp-tasting BCS-conference game on the nonconference schedule. (Would perhaps prefer Georgia Tech for sentimental and/or historical reasons, but whatever, no worries, mate.) SMQ responds by correctly pointing out that having Clemson on the schedule won't automatically prevent a repeat of 2003, but--caution, Auburn fan knee-jerk response coming--he does so without noting that AU did at least try to replace Clemson with a dangerous Bowling Green team that year.

Damn reflex response. Like trying not to sneeze, I swear.

Sir, do you have anything to declare? EDSBS has perhaps a little too much fun with the recent anecdote regarding Kenny Irons and the many interesting things one can fit inside some well-made Samsonite luggage. But a) who hasn't gone a little overboard for the Ironses off-field carnival ride of fun? b) who isn't laughing? Well, aside from perhaps the Ironses' mother.

"And lo, the Yoxall said to me / you stretch before you lift, you see?" The Plainsman talks with AU strength-and-condition coach Kevin Yoxall, but strangely neglect to ask whether his last name comes from Dr. Seuss or Lewis Carroll. Ah, student journalism. What are you gonna do?