Monday, October 27, 2008

2008 needs shorthand

You know how sometimes you see a good idea, like those damn velcro ball-and-ball-catching-hand-thing sets that exploded about 15 years back, and you think Aw HELL why didn't I think of that? Stupid! I coulda been rich!

Well, I've been sorta letting my brain stew over what would be a good shorthand nickname for Auburn's 2008 season, which, speaking realistically, now sees 7-5 as the wildest dream best-case scenario, 6-6 as a surprising relative success, and 5-7 as its far-and-away most probable outcome. At Rocky Top Talk, they refer to their 5-6 2005 season as the Season of Which We Do Not Speak. MGoBlog coined the now widely-used phrase "Year of Infinite Pain" to describe Michigan's 2005 season. After having it good for quite some time--2003, viscerally disappointing as it was, was still a damn sight better than seasons like these--Auburn fans are now enduring our own Season of Which we Do Not Speak/Year of Infinite Pain, and we need a name for it.

And aw HELL, it coulda shoulda been The Season of Constant Sorrow. Too bad those clever so-and-sos at RTT went and thought of it first:



Speaking as someone who still busts out his OBWAT? soundtrack every once in a while, that's good stuff, and a nice reminder that as awful as things are for us Auburn folk, at least we are--as the Pigskin Pathos's tagline says--united in misery with the team portrayed above. But it doesn't change the fact that Auburn fans need a nickname for this horrible season.

The JCCW's nominees:

1. Season of DEATH and/or 2008(=DEATH), a la this still-wonderful fanpost at TrackEm.
2. the Season of Gnashed Teeth
3. with a nod to RTT and *cough* a certain popular series of books for young adults, the Season Which Must Not be Named
4. the Year of Fail (possibly Year of FAIL, if you prefer the all-caps emphasis, which would certainly be deserved)
5. the Omega Season, since the apocalyptic overtones feel appropriate

Leave your choice and/or other suggestions in the comments. Left to my own devices, the JCCW will begin putting either 1, 4, or possibly 5 into use later this week, but feedback would be appreciated.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Little Season That Couldn't

Grotus' Acorn said...

Winesburg, Alabama

Unknown said...

The season of bad halftime speeches. We must be serving a buffet at halftime for the players. For some reason we should bypass halftime altogether and play the game with no breaks. We loose too much momentum at halftime. War Eagle.

Grotus' Acorn said...

Hard Time Killin' Floor Season

Grotus' Acorn said...

Long Gone Lonesome Season

http://www.last.fm/music/Hank+Williams/_/Long+Gone+Lonesome+Blues

Grotus' Acorn said...

The Season That Should Not Be

http://www.last.fm/music/Metallica/_/The+Thing+That+Should+Not+Be

Grotus' Acorn said...

The Season of Race-Car Ya-Yas

http://www.last.fm/music/Cake/_/Race+Car+Ya-Yas

Grotus' Acorn said...

Lonesome Johnny Season

http://www.last.fm/music/Cracker/_/Lonesome+Johnny+Blues

michael said...

The Spread Evil Season

Joe Blow said...

What season?

Anonymous said...

I'm a fan of Season of Gnashed Teeth, what with the obvious jokes about Alabamians having teeth to gnash. However, Year of Fail is particularly appropriate, given the epic fail on the picture asking for tickets taken for the JCCW earlier this year.

Anonymous said...

The Season I Started to Hate You

http://www.last.fm/music/The+Dead+Milkmen/_/I+Started+to+Hate+You

Anonymous said...

The Season of Bitter Emptyness

Anonymous said...

i mean emptiness

Anonymous said...

The Season of Lost Minds

Anonymous said...

The Season of Utter Failure

Anonymous said...

2000 Franklin 8

or

The Year of All You Can Drink Jager Bombs at Halftime

or

The First Half National Championship Season

Reynolds said...

The Season of Dread-Spread

Anonymous said...

.....It's coming out tomorrow, my nomination: The 2008 F. O. R. D. Season. (Found On Roadside Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily)

Brandon said...

The Season of Unintended Consequences.

Unknown said...

The Season of Country Crock Spread.

Now 100% offense free

JR Suicide said...

War Feeble: The Tony Franklin Story...or how i stopped worrying and learned to hate the spread.

Anonymous said...

I would nominate "the Late Unpleasantness" but thats what I use for the Late Unpleasantness that occurred 1861-65.

So howzabout about The Year Of Spreading Dangerously?

Unknown said...

How about the "Duck! Rabbit! Duck! Season"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW3jfppdGLY

Guess what uniform Daffy is wearing?

Doophy said...

A friend of mine thought it was funny that the offense was called the Spread Eagle considering what defenses were doing to it. I know there's something to be found there, I'm just drawing a blank.

Anonymous said...

System of a Down(er)

Grotus' Acorn said...

Spread Too Thin 2008.

Anonymous said...

God AUful

Anonymous said...

The Season of Spread & Sputter